I know what it is like to have a mum with stage 4 cancer if you ever want to talk I am here. I was pretty much the same as you I managed to fix my sleep pattern by staying up till 10 at night and I know the feeling that you are close to being depressed and it is hard to deal with but try talking to people clan helps quite a bit to deal with it.

I can't begin to imagine what you are going through, I had cancer myself so saw it from a different perspective.

However, it sounds to me like you are doing amazingly well, even if you don't feel like it; trying to live by yourself and cope with schoo,l job and your parents away would be a big ask anyway - even without the cancer.

From the hindsight of my great age (58!) I would say that you can always redo the education, so don't be too hard on yourself; I think you are incredible. You seem to be focussing on everything and doing so well, I'm not surprised that you are thinking of your mum all the time - I'm sure I would be too.

Thinking of you and sending all good thoughts and wishes

its ok to feel like this you just need to decide what will be best for you - you can defer your studies and be with your mum if you want - I really hope they can treat her but with cancer so advanced that may not be possible and any time you can get with her will help both of you.  You haven't got mental health issues - you are responding normally to a life crisis but give yourself a break - talk to your parents about how you feel - i would want my son to tell me.  If that feels too much call the cancer helplines or make use of gp counselling student counsellors.  You don't have to do this all by yourself.

Thank you so much for replying! I guess the reason why it's Been so bottled up is because I don't know anyone going through that same thing. It's almost as if I felt tired of being comforted by everybody and just wanted to be at a place where I can actually do something about it. did you end up going to a professional about it? If so, did it help? Thank you

Thank you so much for replying! Is the cancer cleared from you? If so, I hope my mom can be in the same place one day :) sometimes the distraction of being busy is kind of good, you kind of just forget about every personal thing but I feel that when you do that, the reality of it hits you a lot harder at home.swaying away from my education is something I've thought about but scared of ever mentioning to my mom since she puts such an incredible emphasis on it. & no school staff knows about my situation as of right now but I think I feel a bit more confident about confronting the problem whilst including other people in it too. 

Thank you for your thoughts! 

Thank you so much for replying! I've always told mom how I've felt about the situation but always dilute it in a way to make it not sound so bad since I know how hard it must be for her as a mom to worry about her child from the other side of the world already. It's just I hate seeing her cry especially through video call. I'm probably going to just call the helpline since a gp appointment would be too long. Thank you so much for your thoughts :)

Hello again

I'm so sorry for the delay in replying but the response to your question is that I'm so cleared we've just been away golfing for a couple of weeks - hence the late reply.

I hope things are still ok for you, I would hope that your school staff would be completely understanding and try to offer helpful suggestions. Perhaps if you reassure your Mum that you will return to it would allay her fears that you are missing it.

Still more good thoughts and wishes winging your way

Mum was a nurse. Wants me to continue my studies. It’s all she ever wanted for me. Any advice would be so appreciated