I don’t know where to begin. On the 9th October my mum who is my world was diagnosed with secondary cancer, primary being the stomach or pancreas still unknown. She had an endoscopy and they took from secondary and not primary but she became very distressed during procedure and went down hill rapidly. They wanted to perform another but she has been confined to bed and deemed too weak. Skip literally 3 months later after just family and no professional helping her at home she went jaundice on Wednesday. We took her to a&e where they did a ct scan found the cancer has spread and blocking her bile ducts, she was transferred to another hospital on Friday where she has been told she needs a procedure involving another endoscopy to drain bile ducts and implant a stent. She has been put on high antibiotics, codeine, paracetamol, piriton, senna and thinning blood agents.
skio to today, she was sleeping uncommunicative, can’t stand anymore as her legs give way, had to take her to toilet and wipe her. To watch her cry has broken my heart, her head is there and her body isn’t. There plan is put stent in and then palliative care.
i can’t breathe, my world is unfolding in front of me and I can’t stop it.
im scared if she has endoscopy she won’t cope, option 2 is drainage with thin needle but they are reluctant to do so.
ive beggeg to stay with her at hospital but they won’t let me, do she is there suffering alone not able to walk or move.
ihudt don’t know what to do or feel anymore, I can’t cope with it all, yet I’m here writing this and she’s alone and afraid.
