Oh Karen I’m so sorry about your dad ... and knowing others to on this journey too ... your right years ago we would av heard occasionally about someone who had it , but it does seem rife at present ... 

it’s a shame your so far away but just being on the end of the phone ... will help your dad and mum ... my family supports me by checking in and asking how things are going , or send a text just saying thinking of you .... etc but it keeps me going forward ... it’s one of those scenarios where there’s nothing you can do to take it away but you can walk his path with him ... and I found being honest with feelings was really good , cry, hugs, and saying what your heart feels and make the most of every day ... that’s what I’m doing ... so sending you big hug ... you’ll find lots of support here ... Chrisie xx

Hi Chrisie, Thankyou for your support and advice about being honest. Hope today is a good day for you. Karen x

Hi Karen Sorry to hear your news. My amazing incredible dad also has stomach cancer. He's 76 and currently as I write (hopefully) sleeping at the hospital. He's hopefully coming home tomorrow! We had the devastating news this week that the tumour in the base of his stomach has spread to his abdomen. We had such hope particularly as previous CT scans looked good. Nothing can now be done, he hates the thought of chemo and wants to avoid further hospitalisation. I feel like a part of me has died. All I think about is 'why did I not see the signs earlier?'. We got him into the system having noticed weight loss and problems going to toilet. He had both clear prostrate and bowel checks via colonoscopy and was initially suspected to have bowel inflammation. Months passed waiting for appointments until finally an endoscopy and subsequent CT scans confirmed the worst. The outlook is poor and I feel desperate and am struggling to comprehend everything. I keep blaming myself that I didn't research more etc. I just want to cuddle him so much right now. Heart broken x

Hi there Kevin ... I lost my dad some time ago now .. he was the most wonderful caring gentle dad any one could wish for .... he suffered for years with silicosis of the lung , from working down the pits for 50years ... I wish I’d known he was near the end , coz looking back I never told him how proud I was to have him as my dad ... and thank him for never raising a hand to us three girls , didn’t even raise his voice , he was like the B F G  ... so all I can say to you from the bottom of my heart is, you still have time to tell your dad all that’s in your heart ... hold his hand and walk his journey with him ... 

my heart goes out to you and Karen ... don’t leave nothing unsaid ... big big hug to you both ... Chrisie xx

Hi Kevin - it's so good to hear from someone else who feels the same way, we too seemed to have waited an age for anyone to do something, it's like our dads are just hospital numbers and not real people. My dad had a camera down last year and there was nothing there then or so we were told. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, I too think should I have pushed things through more quickly but as you said it is now too late, they could both have had another 20 years of life, until a few years ago my dad was very active, only 10 years ago he single handedly built my loft conversion - its so sad.

Do you still have your mum around - I do, it was their 56th wedding anniversary yesterday. My dad is going to try chemo once they have checked that his heart condition will be OK with it. I used to think it would be a heart attack that would take him but now I am not so sure. Do you think he will have any chemo?

Please keep in touch - its good to have someone who isn't family to go on this journey with x 

Thank you Chrisie

I read your message to my dad this morning in hospital and literally struggled to read it through the tears! Your words resonated with both of us they created a very special moment so thank you so much - much needed and appreciated x x

I am crying now.......my mum has to blend my dads food too as his main bit of cancer is at the bottom of his windpipe so food can't get through very well.

My mum makes quiche without the pastry and he has that blended and semolina for breakfast!!

It is hard but I try and remember the serenity prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

The first line of this has really helped me get through....

My dad is in Bournemouth - I am some distance away but on the phone most days even if it just boring stuff like a rose that has just flowered, I send pictures of things by text as they don't do the internet!

Hope you get him home soon

x

Bless ya ... thank you for letting me know ... I had a few tears too reading your message... big hug to you and your dad ... Chrisie xx

How are you all doing Kevin? Is your dad at home now