Hello Candylucy

I'm sorry to hear that your husband passed away recently. From your post it sounds as if you loved him very much and I'm sure it's been a very difficult time for you. I'm so glad you have your collie for company; I'm sure he/she has been a great comfort to you during this time. 

The thoughts and feelings that you describe in your post are very natural ones to experience after the loss of a loved one. You might find it helpful to have a look at the Cruse website and to get in touch with them for some bereavement support. I'm sure that talking to someone will help during these difficult times. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator

I am sorry to hear of your loss.  My husband also passed 9 weeks ago.  He was perfectly fine and then was diagnosed with a very rare cancer and six weeks later he left me.  We were

together for 54 years, since being 17.  We were looking forward to retirement one day and spending more time together.  I, like you, cry every day.  I can be fine one moment and then the tears fall.  I have a Westie and he give me a reason to get out of bed on a morning.  I dont think it will ever get better, it may get easier and perhaps one day we will be able to smile at the lovely memories we have instead of crying.  I have started to write each day telling my husband what I have been doing and that I love him which seems silly but it does appear to help me.  I hope one day we will be able to remember without tears but at the moment it doesnt seem that will ever happen.  Just know you are not the only one going through this agony.  I am sending you lots of love and hugs xx Jacki

Hi  I am so pleased that my words have helped you.  Try writing to your husband and I hope it helps you as much as it helps me.  Usually I am writing my words through tears.  I have not been able to move my husband's shoes from the hall as I expect him to come back at any time.  I know our husbands loved us so much that they would not want us to waste our lives crying and if cryiing could bring them back they would be here with us.  We can only hope that each day gives us a little more strength than the day before.  xx

I really will try writing  I think it's a wonderful suggestion I also have my husbands favourite jacket hanging  on the hanger where he put it . It seems strange in a way that so many people grieve in the same way   I can never see a time when I will get over this as we. Never had a chance to  talk to each other   although  we did tell each  other  how much we loved each other  prior to  him being taken into hospital  I do feel that because of covid and not being able to sit with him and hold his hand   is just too much to bear ..  I start writing tomorrow  god bless you and I  hope you  will continue to find  comfort in your writing xxx