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My Journey Continues

9 Jan 2015 18:17

Hi all my forum buddies.  Just wanted to post on a new thread as it is more relevant than where my journey began.  Hope to see you here. Jules

Re: My Journey Continues

9 Jan 2015 18:25 in response to jules54

Hello Jules I like your choice of name for your new thread I have left a text on Brians amazing Quotes again for you ,but will use this one in future ,hope you have a good win at bingo later  x...Sueanne hugs sent too x

Re: My Journey Continues

9 Jan 2015 19:38 in response to jules54
Hi Jules, like Sueanne, I like the title of your new thread. I'm sure you'll have many responses as we join you on your journey. Are you heading out tonight with your friend or battening down the hatches against the expected high winds? Have a peaceful weekend, much love, Jo xx

Re: My Journey Continues

9 Jan 2015 19:58 in response to jules54

Good evening Jules,

I also like the title of your new thread. I look forward to chatting to you on here

Take care, best wishes, Brian

Re: My Journey Continues

9 Jan 2015 20:45 in response to jules54

All the best to you Jules xx

like the title of the thread

Thinking about you and family

Steven 'n Anne xx

Re: My Journey Continues

9 Jan 2015 20:54 in response to jules54

Hi Jules,

Just wanted to check in under your new thread.  I'm glad to read (on your old thread) that your grandchildren are keeping your spirits up.  Am continuing to think of you, and I too wish that PM was sorted out.  Take care.  Hope x


Re: My Journey Continues

10 Jan 2015 06:13 in response to Hope23

Good morning Jules,

Your need to draw a line under the last thread and start a new one is completely understandable and a good idea and the title is so apt.

I did post a reply last night but unfortunately I was writing it at the same time as it was being closed off so I got an error message which I promptly blamed on this new site but an email from the moderators this morning and a helpful link explains everything. The moderators really do a great job here especially when they put up with a rant from the likes of me so, if you are reading Lucie thank you and my appologies again for venting.

To make it short I was told by my Mum that my youngest Neice, Hannah is in hospital and undergoing tests to try and find the cause of intense pain. I was initially annoyed with my sister for not telling me as she had already been in hospital 24hrs and the hospital itself is notorious for poor care so I am worried for her  especially when, at only 19yrs she is being given Morphine for the pain. When I know more I will let you know.

In the meantime I hope all of us can help you a little as you continue your journey.

Lots of love and hugs.

Garf. xx

Re: My Journey Continues

10 Jan 2015 09:28 in response to jules54

hi jules

i was wondering what your favourite books were

i am really into lee child i think jack reacher is very good read

Re: My Journey Continues

10 Jan 2015 10:22 in response to jules54

Morning Jules,

Just caught up with your "new thread" and found you under life after cancer. It's going to take a few mistakes in the future to remember and get it right, but there you go it doesn't take that many repeats to learn a new habit. 

I hope you've got your weekend planned with your family and hope they are all well. I expect part of you is running on normal habits at the moment and then coming across the change and realising things can be, may be, will have to be different in the future. A lot to get used to. Sending you a virtual hand hold whilst this is going on hun. Loads of hugs 

Annabel. xx

Re: My Journey Continues

10 Jan 2015 10:23 in response to GARF


Keeping fingers crossed for your neice. let us know how she gets on.


Annabel. xx

Re: My Journey Continues

10 Jan 2015 11:22 in response to GARF

Thank you so much for your kind words Garf! Where is the "blushing" smiley? Ha it's supposed to be this one but I don't think it's blushing enough: Blush

I can completely understand why you thought it was the forum playing up last night. I would have done the same as you especially as you lost your post! It must have been incredibly frustrating for you and it was bad luck you were posting right at the same time as I was locking the thread.

So sorry to hear about the news about your niece. Hopefully she feels better soon and they find out what caused this intense pain.


Re: My Journey Continues

10 Jan 2015 15:42 in response to jules54

Hi Jules, I also like your new title here. I hope you are taking good care of yourself as you take this journey to a different way of life. I'm sure there are a lot of adjustments to be made before you find a comfortable niche to settle into, but you seem to have very supportive family around to help you to do that. Also, your friends on the forum are always here because as you likely know, there will be bumps and bruises along the way.    



Re: My Journey Continues

10 Jan 2015 19:45 in response to sueanne

Hi, I am having a few technical glitches with internet when on this site - error shows 'Gateway time out' - gobblygook to me!!  Also replies freezing.  Hope you get to see this but Moderator Lucie will look into itif it continues to be bothersome.

Have had family today and chat with Church official re service requirements and am currently munching on daughter in law's home made lemon curd and poppy seed muffin (she loves to experiment and is a gret 'baker'so very happy to be guinea pig!


Speak again soon. Jules





Re: My Journey Continues

10 Jan 2015 20:43 in response to GARF

Hi Garf

Having issues with internet connection (and yes,, have paid the bill!!!!!).  Hopefully all my buddies will see this post and I just wanted to say thanks for all the continuing support - its means a lot especially with so many of you have your own troubles/journies to travel.


Hope you get some good news about Hannah very soon and will be thinking of you.

No win at the bingo but a very relaxing couple of hours after a very hectic week of appointments (same again next week as only have one fully free day.  May have writers cramp but making sure that all those I need to contact hear my news in the right way ~(if there is a right way to do it!!).  Had a couple of hours of retail therapy with mydaughter yesterday and today my son in law has cured my 'sticking front door' as I was in danger of being trapped indoors.  Eldest grandson has been having a laugh at my expense after we got out a load of old (and mean old) photo albums.  Wonderful memories for us all to look back on (though the photographer leaves a lot to be desired!!!).  Son's girlfriend popped in some shopping and home made muffins so think New Year's diet will have to begin in 2016 but we had a lovely chat (son was on a scuba diving course for the day).  Right had better get the washing ready as off to the launderette in the morning - will soon try and find the time to replace old one but not top of the list right now!.


Take care and hope you hear some good news soon.Hugs Jules x



Re: My Journey Continues

10 Jan 2015 20:46 in response to RAT

Have read a couple of LeeChild books a few years ago.  Enjoy Kathy Reichs, Karin Slaughter, Jo Nesbo but to be honest working in a book department tend to read the 'backs' and try anything that takes my fancy.  Have a whole pile of books sitting waiting and may now begin to work my way through them.  Strange now that TVnot on all day but I am a fan of having music on and finding that pretty relaxing at the moment.  Look after yourself. Jules

Re: My Journey Continues

11 Jan 2015 09:37 in response to jules54

Good morning Jules, and everyone,

Jules I really like your idea of holding off on the new year diet until 2016.  The bigwigs that we love to complain about would probably call that "blue sky thinking"!  Sorry you didn't manage a win at bingo but it has to happen eventually although I know the time spent in good company is the reason for going and it is another way for someone to give you support.

I spoke to my sister last night and Hannah is still in hospital with no sign yet of discovering what the problem is.  They have ruled out the obvious ones like appendix or gall bladder so the next thing is a CAT scan tomorrow so I don't expect to hear anything until tomorrow evening at the earliest. The hospital she is in does not have the best reputation but it is not the fault of the doctors and nurses who do an amazing job of trying to look after people in a hospital run by money men.  Apparently it's progress!

Another busy week for you and although I know it all has to be done don't wear yourself out. Sorry Jules, as soon as I typed that sentence the words "teach", "Grandma" and "suck eggs" came to mind so just ignore me.

Love and hugs.

Garf. xx

Re: My Journey Continues

11 Jan 2015 09:59 in response to jules54

Good morning Jules,

Glad you went out on Friday nighy but sorry you didnt get a win. I think trying to keep some normality in your life is important while so much is changing. I hope your internet connection has stabalized for I know how much it means to you to maintain contact with your forum buddies.

I didnt get to post anything at all yesterday on here as I was so busy. When I went to my meeting there was a small tree which had come down and had blocked the road until someone had dragged it alongside the road but there were small wooden debris all over the road. The meeting overan but the good thing is I was able to buy myself some chips on the way home. He gave me extra chips as he was clearing out the last of them and much to my disgust I found I couldnt eat them all. It;s very rare I wast food. Today I am trying to catch up on what I didnt do yesterday.

Its a nice morning for your Sunday morning walk allthough a bit chilly. Mrs B's shopping trolley has arrived on Friday and have put it together for her.  I told her they must have know you are a short a** as the handle is in the lowest position. I now have one ear which is pillar box red and twice as big as my other one !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have also been told I might have to end up cooking my own dinner.

Anyway, take care Jules, I am sending best wishes and big hugs your way, Brian.


Re: My Journey Continues

11 Jan 2015 10:45 in response to GARF

Morning Garf

Would never knowingly 'ignore'my forum buddies;)Wink and don't worry I still suffer from 'foot in mouth' syndrome!!!

Do hope that the scan Hannah has can throw some light on the problem she is suffering as I would imagine both she and those surrounding her are concerned. Another case of waiting to know the outcome of appointments and minds overthinking possibilities.  I know you have a lot in your head just now but do try and have a peaceful Sunday (and beyond) with Mrs G.

I have been listening to the music we have chosen for hubby's celebration of life (not for the first time!) and am now about to go out for the second time today (went to the launderette early but am saving the ironing till later). I am visiting my friend from work for a coffee and chat and as she lives within a short walk of the town centre will kill two  birds with one stone and do some essential shopping.  Have several necessary appointments to go through next week so am making the most of some me time today.

Take care my virtual buddy, chat soon.  Hugs  Jules

Re: My Journey Continues

11 Jan 2015 12:43 in response to jules54
Hi Jules, happy to see you are having some " me time"' oh so very important. Was going to ask you an irrelevant question about ironing but of no import. I have an iron but may as well be a doorstop,!!! Have next doors Jack Russell for 3 night so am babysitting as such. Houdini as I shall call her escaped twice in first 30 mins of visit. Now on harness and lead while outside. Mmmmm. My cat is bigger than she is but now tail wagging , think she has accepted who I am. Made my will yesterday, was a bit remiss that didn't have one till now, but want to streamline processes for the future. Hope you have something exceedingly naughty at the coffee shop like Carmel shortbread, yum. Lots of love Kathy xxx

Re: My Journey Continues

11 Jan 2015 13:43 in response to jules54
Hello Jules, my name is Kerrie, it was reading your story on here that I joined, the care and compassion shown by all on here I feel will help me. my mum diagnosed on 22/12/2014, with gall bladder and liver cancer, in operable. Has deteriorated so much it's just awful to watch. I am signed off work sick from today to care for her. I am so sorry to eventually read your hubby passed away, it brought emotions out in me, the wonderful support on here must surely make you feel so loved and supported, it truly has been a hard couple of years for you, I admire your strength, I wish all the best too. And to all those whose lovely posts I have read you are all amazing people. Kerrie

Re: My Journey Continues

11 Jan 2015 14:12 in response to jules54

Hello Jules Lovely to see that you are going out for a coffee and a chat with your friend talking at this difficult time is good for you ,but some quiet time is also important to reflect .Listening to the music over and over is exactly what I did when Tony passed away ,I new all the words ,and I even find myself singing them quietly when im out walking Rusty even now particularly our song which was an Eric Clapton song Wonderfull Tonight so Jules sing away ,I must just say I think you are an amazing lady to still be able to support others on the forum ,when going through such a difficult time yourself ,look after yourself Jules and suround yourself with the love of your family and friends ..Sending you a BIG HUG SueanneXx

Re: My Journey Continues

11 Jan 2015 16:21 in response to woodworm

Hi Brian

Hope the case of 'boxed ear' wears off soon and maybe you will be the one pulling the trolley when it has its maiden outing!  Just think of all the nuts it could hold.  You cannot beat shop bought chips and as I rarely make them and you have  made my mouth water am thinking a fish and chip supper is due soonWink

It was a beautiful if a little chilly start to the day and I did another trip to the launderette and have finally caught up.  I then  did a bit of tidying and set off into town where I dropped in on my friend and 'rambled' for a couple of hours before dropping into my place of work (to drop off  bereavement leave certificate so that I get paid!).  Picked up a new iron (how exciting) and new pot pourri for the hallway.  Also some flowers for the lounge as I wanted to practice the arrangement I will have on the day of the funeral indoors.  Think its important to have flowers around as I love to see colour (just a shame that hubby's favourites are out of season - dahlias) at this time of  year when the garden is mainly green and brown.

Don't overdo the 'catching up with what you missed' and hope you and MrsB have had a relaxing day.  Hugs  Jules x




Re: My Journey Continues

11 Jan 2015 16:21 in response to woodworm

Hi Brian

Hope the case of 'boxed ear' wears off soon and maybe you will be the one pulling the trolley when it has its maiden outing!  Just think of all the nuts it could hold.  You cannot beat shop bought chips and as I rarely make them and you have  made my mouth water am thinking a fish and chip supper is due soonWink

It was a beautiful if a little chilly start to the day and I did another trip to the launderette and have finally caught up.  I then  did a bit of tidying and set off into town where I dropped in on my friend and 'rambled' for a couple of hours before dropping into my place of work (to drop off  bereavement leave certificate so that I get paid!).  Picked up a new iron (how exciting) and new pot pourri for the hallway.  Also some flowers for the lounge as I wanted to practice the arrangement I will have on the day of the funeral indoors.  Think its important to have flowers around as I love to see colour (just a shame that hubby's favourites are out of season - dahlias) at this time of  year when the garden is mainly green and brown.

Don't overdo the 'catching up with what you missed' and hope you and MrsB have had a relaxing day.  Hugs  Jules x




Re: My Journey Continues

11 Jan 2015 16:40 in response to KathyS

Hi Kathy

Am sure the 'lodging' Jack Russell will find out from the cat in due course who is  boss inside the houseLaugh but can imagine its a bit of a worry when they 'do a runner' and they are not yours.  Girl at work has a Jack Russell called Milly and I know she enjoys playing hide and seek - beware ha ha.

Got new iron (but not unpacked it yet!!).  I am having to stay in tomorrow so plan on catching up with housework more then.  Just coffee whilst out but am currently enjoying another home made muffin with afternoon cuppa so still finding time to 'eat naughty'.  Must wean myself off soon otherwise will undo all the good work I managed a couple of years ago and will get told off at my next cholesterol check (now overdue and being somewhat avoided).Seeing GP this Thursday (her request as she likes to keep an eye on new widows bless her).  Have legal rep (free service from late hubby's bank) coming on Wednesday to run through things with me but think I have notified everyone and copies of death certificate (certified at time of registration) are already on the way to the organisations who asked for them.  Am wondering what I will do with my time once all the paperwork is finished? Of course, I will be pack to my part time job and am possibly thinking of joining local 'Ramblers Association (for walkers not ttalkers)- time will tell.

Hope you and the family are keeping well and that the bushfires kept their distance.  Take care  Hugs  Jules x

Re: My Journey Continues

11 Jan 2015 16:52 in response to Kezzaroo

Hi Kerrie

Really sorry to read the reason behind your finding this forum but from personal experience can honestly say the support/advice/kindness shown me during our long journey has probabkly got me where I am today - peaceful and relaxed at present though understandably saddened.

It is not an easy road to look after a loved one and watch then struggle with the illness but your Mum will just appreciate so much your being by her side and do ask her medical team to give you all the support you need (physically and mentally).  I know many of those who 'read' the forum posts do not always post themselves but  sometimes just 'rambling' helps the emotional side of things.  Have often typed with tears but its a natural release and we must accept it as 'normal'.  Come and chat anytime as sadly there are too many of us who will understand how you are feeling right now.  Hope your Mum can be kept comfortable during this difficult time for you all.  Virtual hugs  Jules

Re: My Journey Continues

11 Jan 2015 17:36 in response to Annabel

So sorry that I seem to have got answers all out of synch!

Jo,Annabel, Hope, Lorraine,Steven and Anne, thank you for your kind remarks about the new thread and for 'following me to my new 'home'.  I am, as you can imagine, finding each day a little different and there has been much to sort through.Cannot remember the last time I made/received somany phone calls, letters and necessary form filling.  Just as well that many moons ago I had secretarial skills (pre children) and they are   slowly coming back to me ha ha.  It is still amazing to think that our journey with you forum began so long ago and that I am still rambling.

Those of you still facing daily struggles I can still listen/read/respond and return the favour you have all offered me such support and virtual friendship.

Have a candle burning bright and words of comfort in my ears and will let the emotions 'rock and roll' as I remember past years.  Virtual hugs to everyone.  Jules xxx


Re: My Journey Continues

11 Jan 2015 20:46 in response to sueanne

Good evening Sueanne

Beautiful morning here (clouded over but stayed dry) and enjoyed catching up with my friend for a couple of hours.  Then went to do a bit of shopping and bought myself a lovely bunch of pussy willow, spider crysanths and purple flowers (cannot spell or pronounce name but begins with L!!!) and have had a very lazy afternoon watching sport and answering phone to friends/relatives and have just finished an hour long call with the girl I met when I was expecting My daughter (33 yrs ago)(we normally only swap Christmas cards and had a lot of bringing up to date to do.


Hope you have had a peaceful and relaxing day.  As I have to stay in all day tomorrow am saving the housework till then but must now have dinner or it will be ruined!!  Sending hugs.  Jules x

Re: My Journey Continues

12 Jan 2015 13:29 in response to jules54

Hello Jules, im so glad you enjoyed your girlie chatch up will have done you the world of good.The first days in your new life is hard having to  do so much organising and making changes but its good that many people are only to pleased help.I felt a bit like a robot going through the motions but not realy with it ,what was worse for me was driving I realised I couldnt consentrate so didnt drive for two weeks my mind was so full of Tony .Children are an amazing comfort arnt they supporting each other lots of hugs lots of tears ..I think you are so brave hubby would be so proud of you as im sure he always was .The weather is terrible rain wind Rusty and I had an early walk 7 30 ish just drizzle but enough to get us wet lots of branches down pavements in a mess but 11 degs ..The flowers sound lovelyJules  I love pussy willows too, I saw catkins out yesterday too Jules somtimes florists seem to get flowers that are out of season just a thought Take care lovely lady and BIG HUG sent ..Sueanne

Re: My Journey Continues

12 Jan 2015 20:50 in response to sueanne

Hi sueanne


I completely agree with the 'robot' feeling.  I m sure someone turned on an autopilot switch once hubby passed away but somehow all the official calls are made (for now anyway) and as donations come in for our chosen charity (in lieu of flowers) I am now turning to the 'writing letters' phase.  Have had first full day indoors today (weather was lousy anyway!) and by three o'clock all the loaned equipment had been collected.  The lounge suddenly feels a very large space with me plonked in the middle!  Has probably done me some good relaxing in between the housework and have just polished off a fish pie for dinner.

Tomorrow morning I will get back to routine visit for Mum and then am travelling into town with my daughter who has a clinic appointment (routine) but needs Zack to be 'minded' whilst she is seen so I will push him round the shops.

Both the children have suggested I join them on mini breaks in the Spring so will go back to work at beginning of February only to try and book 'holiday leave' but its good to have things to look forward to.

Am really pleased with the flowers and have chosen same colours for hubby and will wear/carry something purple at the celebration of his life (strangely we both had the same favourite colour).

Look after yourself and hope all the family are doing okay too.  Hugs  Jules x

Re: My Journey Continues

13 Jan 2015 00:00 in response to jules54
Hi Jules, hope you find Mum ok on your visit. Mini breaks in spring sound great, would that be April over there? The little Houdini - Jack russell I am doggy sitting has fitted in well with my 2 pets. She escaped harness and lead yesterday but fortunately came straight to me, knows who is doing the feeding now. Lots of rain here but that is good for the fires and the garden. A girlfriend brought round a lemon tree for me to plant in memory of hubby so once rain stops I will get that planted. Son came round at the weekend and did some heavy jobs for me which was much appreciated. Always a joy to spend time with him. We are so fortunate in our children. Your flowers sound lovely and purple such a vibrant colour. Mother in law still in hosp since 28/11 awaiting care package vacancy to come up to allow her home. Her spirits have improved and her walking is good, has pitting oedema and legs still leaking so I presume nurses will need to make home visits to change dressings. Take care precious angel, lots of love Kathy xxx

Re: My Journey Continues

13 Jan 2015 11:49 in response to jules54

Good morning Jules,

Hope your visit to you mother goes okay. We got a little wet when shopping early this morning. Spent most of yesterday doing paperwork for the wood club. I have designed a new membership card which I can print myself instead of buying the plastic ones which have become so expensive.Will be able to print peoples names on them instead of writing by hand. Still have to update our fire list and membership  directory in the next couple of weeks.

I have to tell you I admire the way you have coped so far and have still found time to respond to others. I also think this forum does help so many;so many amazing people who allthough going through the mill are still willing to offer help and advice to others.

I will have to leave early tommorow morning with regard to my talk as one of the ladies from my local cancer charity Cancervive very kindly wants to come and support me.I have to arrive by 8.30 and have to admit I am looking forward to it. Mrs B looking forward to a peaceful morning ha ha but I told her I will make up for it when I return.

Garage is still nice and dry so the repairs still holding good.

Take care Jules, sending best wishes and hugs, Brian

Re: My Journey Continues

13 Jan 2015 22:44 in response to jules54

Hi Jules,

Just thinking of you, I hope you are OK. Hope xx

Re: My Journey Continues

14 Jan 2015 08:20 in response to KathyS

Good morning Kathy

So pleased your son able to come and see you (and good that he can get jobs done too). Just the kind of support that is so helpful. My son in law has fixed my 'sticking' front door and fitted new security chain and this coming weekend will take hubby's care for total valetting so need to empty the boot!!

Spent a little time with Mum and she has decided (wisely) not to try to attend the funeral (we are having snow flurries just to add to the problems she would possible face).  Have told her I know she will be thinking of us all and hope have put her mind at rest.  Her general mood was a little improved and  think my sadness has perhaps brought her 'mothering' instinct back a bit.  She has bipolar depressive illness and does have varying 'swings'.

Today have 'free' legal adviser coming to explain the way through probate and my daughter is coming along to have an extra pair of ears (that also means another cuddle session with Zack).  We have been totally overwhelmed with the offers of assistance and support during this sad time and I still feel like I am on autopilot and dealing with the practical side has been pretty straightforward so far.  Have finally finished (I think) all official notifications of death and got all the bills into my name which is a bit of a relief.

Yes,Spring breaks will be during April and if I can get the 'holiday leave' I require will have a mini break away at the beginning and end of that month. It will be good for us all to be able to relax and do some lovely walks on the Dorset coast (both with my son's dog on one break and with the grandchildren on the other).

Good to hear that your pets and 'lodger' are accepting of each other and can fully understand why the four legged Houdini come back now that he knows who feeds him.

Have a G'day and sesnding you kind thoughts and virtual hugs  Jules x




Re: My Journey Continues

14 Jan 2015 08:56 in response to woodworm

Good morning Brian,

Good to read that your garage is staying leak free and hope it continues for you as know it is more like a workshop when the temperature allows. Underfloor heating next Wink. Beautiful start to the day here though some people not so lucky if the TV pics anything to go by. Currently watching cat in the garden desparate to catch a pidgeon (they are running rings round it!!).

Am sure you were well received at your cancer meetings and its wonderful that you can put so much back into this with firsthand knowledge - a positive side to dealing with post cancer diagnosis. Well done.

As a family we are supporting a small charity offering free support and advice, run by volunteers, as part of hubby's celebration of life (and onwards I am sure).  The cover the South of England and though being based in Southampton area they visited us at home at the start of our journey and will never be able to thank them enough for their time and expertise in Mesothelioma (the ladies who run it both having family members who suffered with the disease).  So important to keep these charities 'alive'.

Visiting Mum was good and she is dealing with hubby's death in her own way but was strange to have her emotional imput suddenly and it makes you realise that her bi polar problems suppress true feelings from time to time.  It left me somewhat reflective as you can imagine. 

Certainly, I am going  through the  practical side of things almost on autopilot just now but take great comfort from the fact that hubby had the best care the NHS had to offer and me by his side at his passing.  A love lost but forever in our hearts as a family. The grandchildren gave me drawings yesterday for 'grand-dad to take on his journey to becoming a star' and I will take them to the funeral directors later today as they have said they can be placed with him. The eldest lad (hard to believe he is only just 6) told me that he loved his grand-dad and he needed the picture because he could not take his car with him. Oh to have a child's mind just now.

Hope you and Mrs B are keeping okay. Hugs. Jules x  



Re: My Journey Continues

14 Jan 2015 09:04 in response to Hope23

Thanks Hope, it means a lot to me that my forum buddies are here to help along the new road I am having to travel. Am coping almost automatically with all the necessary notifications and paperwok. Today have free legal Probate rep coming to the house to explain things to us (daughter being an extra pair of ears as son is working) and tomorrow will be chatting to GP (her request to see how I am) so days pretty full and I am finding it a little  strange at the peacefulness that surrounds me.

Best wishes to you and your family. Hugs Jules x

Re: My Journey Continues

14 Jan 2015 10:50 in response to jules54

Hi Jules, you are an amazing lady, and have looked after your husband and mother with such fortitued.

I hope that feeling of peacefulness stays around you like a warm blanket to help you through this time.

love and peace for the future , to you and your family xxTonic

Re: My Journey Continues

14 Jan 2015 12:07 in response to jules54

Hi Jules,  I totally agree with Tonic and wanted to add that I hope you get on OK with the legal representative today as well.  Take care.  Hope xx

Re: My Journey Continues

14 Jan 2015 20:38 in response to Hope23

Hi Jules,

Hope you had a productive visit with the "legal eagle" today.  I also hope you can deal with someone who can understand what you are going through and helps as much as they can.

I'm afraid there is still no news on why  Hannah is so unwell.  She had a CT scan yesterday, one day later than they said she would, but the results came back clear which is a good thing but they are still no closer to finding out what is going on.  We are now doing the age old past time which is to "wait and see"!

Also just to let you know I took a half day today so I could be at home to receive a pre-arranged assessment phone call.  It is the first part in the next round of demon vanquishing after being reffered by the doctor.  I don't know how effective it will be but let's wait and see --- wait!  I've heard that somewhere before Wink

Thoughts are with you Jules, take care!

Garf. xx

Re: My Journey Continues

15 Jan 2015 08:34 in response to tonic

Thank you for your kind words.  Definitely not amazing (sure my kids would vouch for this!!), just going through the motions day to day so make sure eerything is sorted out with the dignity my hubby deserved.

Today would have been his GP check up appointment and instead of him going, his GP has asked for me to go in so she can 'keep an eye on his widow'.  Have arranged a cuppa with my bingo pal afterwards as suspect I might be a bit fragile!

Hope all is going okay in your own family.  Regards Jules x

Re: My Journey Continues

15 Jan 2015 08:39 in response to Hope23

Morning Hope

Have not been so busy in a long time!  Most of the official notifications are in place and have gone pretty smoothly.  Legal advice appointment pretty straightforward to and has lead to a couple of other lines to follow and also have an appointment with independent solicitor later in the month before making final choices as regards applying for Probate. Even in the legal world it would appear its good to make comparisons!!!!  My daughter has been my second pair of ears and little Zack and older brother keeping us smiling. 


Hope all good with you and the family.  Sending hugs  Jules x

Re: My Journey Continues

15 Jan 2015 08:57 in response to GARF

Hi Garf

It must be confusing and worrying in equal measure (never mind frustrating) as regards Hannah's symptoms. Good news that the CT scan showed nothing untoward but do hope they can get to the bottom of things soon for her sake as well as her loved ones.

Hope your telephone call assessment is the start of something positive for you in dealing with those pesky demons - you deserve to be able to enjoy life without them poking their noses in.Thinking 'it will be effective' is a first step.  Let me know how you progress my forum buddy.

Free legal advice representative arranged by hubby's bank spent over an hour chatting to us and guiding us the requirements of going through Probate plus the options available to us.  Very interesting and helpful and have a couple of other bits to sort out as regards notifications as well as enquiring about ongoing benefits for me (another long phone call booked with DWP this afternoon!!). We have a further solicitor to 'check out' towards end of the month and then decisions to be made as to the best way for us to proceed (lucky to have two 'on the ball' kids and their other halves.

Lump in the throat moment this morning as I had to empty the car (still had his fishing gear in from his last outing) as its off to be valetted this weekend and then we can arrange sale (useful information we were given yesterday too).

Have also been asked to go on a couple of mini breaks in April (one with each of the children) and work has granted my holiday dates so booking can be completed.  It will do all of us good to have these to look forward to and be a mini step forwards before arranging to holiday on my own (if my Mum could do this as 82 am sure I should follow her lead)Wink.

The Isle of Man three should have arrived on the mainland last night and are staying with friends until the funeral on Monday but hoping we can catch up before then (we have had lenghty conversations on the phone). Planning to take the 'dignity' my hubby showed in this respect forward as this would be his wish and they deserve to follow their own dreams in their retirement.

Well, thats a lot of rambling for one morning.  Have a good day.  Hugs Jules x



Re: My Journey Continues

15 Jan 2015 08:59 in response to jules54

Good its going okay for you Jules. 

Thinking of you all



Re: My Journey Continues

15 Jan 2015 10:28 in response to jules54

Hi Jules,

I really admire the way you are coping and so pleased you are getting so much support from your family as I know how much this support means from when I lost my mother. How lovely that your two grandchildren have drawn pictures for grandad to take with him. Children never cease to amaze me. When I heard those words "You have cancer", one of the first things that flashed through my mind was that I might not see my three grandchildren grow up, or get married and start families of their own and that was a frightening prospect for me. I am also pleased that your mother is also offering you support.

My talk went off very well thank you and I had several people who shook my hand afterwards and thanked me. The people I gave my talk to were senior clinicians, doctors ect and at the end of my talk I thanked them for all the work they do behind the scenes, for what they do makes peoples cancer journey easier and helps acchieve a better outcome for the patient. I was able to tell them, I couldnt fault the service I recieved fron all levels of the N.H.S. during my treatment and will alway remember the laughs I had with the radiotherapy staff. Also made an interesting new contact for the local charity I belong to. I was rushed off my feet last night at the wood club as a lot of members paid up. Didnt take long to drop of to sleep last night as a result.

Glad you were helped yesterday regarding probate. When I was dealing with my mothers funeral, I hadnt realized how much there was to arrange. Just when I thought I had finished, something else needed doing. I could only take a couple of days off so trying to do the rest while working made it more difficult.

Take care of your self Jules as you start this new phase and journey of your life. Sending big hugs to you, Brian.


Re: My Journey Continues

16 Jan 2015 00:11 in response to jules54

Hi Jules, just wanted to touch base and let you know that I'm thinking of you as you take this journey to its' conclusion on Monday. Having said that however, we know that Monday won't be the finish for you or your family, but just the beginning of the next phase. Right now you are busy doing things that need to be done and that occupies your mind and your time. That will continue after Monday as well, but gradually will phase out to the finish. Grieving is a process and even though you saw this coming at some level because of your husband's illness, that grieving will continue, although will be less intense as time goes on. Stay in touch on the forum and let us know how you are. We know that the months/years ahead will certainly be different for you as you adjust to a "new normal" way of life. My thoughts will be with you.



Re: My Journey Continues

16 Jan 2015 07:14 in response to woodworm

Steven, thank you for your kinds words and hope you and your wife are doing okay too.


I think the GP knew how much I would be having to attend to in these early days and that is why she 'awarded me' a month's bereavement leave (company has been very supportive all the way along and I could have had unpaid leave at any time but she felt I should not lose money!).  I saw her yesterday (she appears to have now taken me onto her patient list) and we chatted about hubby and how I am coping and I see her again the day after I return to work as she wants to ensure that I am OK - very appreciative of her outlook especially as I am sure she has much needier patients than me.

Its great that you can give talks to people working in the cancer field and am sure everyone benefits from it too.  Hopefully after being so busy with this and your Wood Club duties you will have a bit of 'me and Mrs B time'.

My in-laws finally managed to get over late last night (bad weather led to previous evening's flight being cancelled).  As yet am not sure if I will see them before the funeral on Monday.  I have more appointments today and they have to rely on the friend they are staying with for 'wheels' though we could manage to get together using public transport if needs be. We have, of course, had a few long chats on the phone.

Another mini mishap yesterday, eldest grandson suffered a nasty nosebleed and had to go to A&E (he had a knock at school the previous day and they thought he may have broken his nose!!  After a morning at the hospital waiting for 'bleed' to stop, he was examined - no break but he has been referred to ENT dept at another hospital (appointment within 5 days apparently) and may need cauterization procedure.Sent home with orders to keep him quiet and rested - have they met my 6yr old grandsonLaugh

Well best do the rest of my mail before  getting off to next appointent(or interent link fails (weather playing havoc with connections).

Wishing you and Mrs B a peaceful day and weekend ahead.  Jules x



Re: My Journey Continues

16 Jan 2015 07:28 in response to LorraineD

Hi Lorraine

Nice to hear from  you and hope your recover is continuing.

Thank you for your kind thoughts and words.  Feel very much as though I am a 'robot going through the motions' but am pleased to say that all necessary official notifications as regards late hubby are completed to the best of our ability.  The children continue to keep me company where  necessary (extra pair of ears/thoughs very  helpful).  Gp is happy I am managing and sees me again after I return to work.

Monday had seemed a long time away until now!  The celebration of his life is to be well attended and I will be seeing people who had 'known, worked with and loved him' over many years. No doubt more emotional fallout (only to be expected and managed of course). My six year old grandson summed it up beautifully 'A party for Grandad - why when he cannot be there?Sad' - the wonderful innocence of childhood.  We have spent some time with him looking through old photo albums (and envisage doing it some more as it raised lots of laughs). 

The final goodbye is a hard day ahead but my heart is full of memories (42 years long) which I am hoping will carry me forward into a 'different normal'.  The forum has been and am pretty sure will remain part of my coping mechanism.

Sending peaceful thoughts for you and yours.  Jules x

Re: My Journey Continues

16 Jan 2015 13:07 in response to jules54

Dear Jules ,I hope grandson goes on ok ,but trying to keep a 6 year  old quiet and still is unheard of ha ha ..I will be thinking of you on Monday and im sure lots of tears will be shed just let them flow ,after 40 plus years its to be expected so let them flow ..Thinking of you and big hugs sent ...Sueanne Xx

Re: My Journey Continues

16 Jan 2015 20:52 in response to jules54

Hi there Jules,

I share Brian's admiration of you and the way you are coping with things up to now.  You mentioned how Monday seemed a long way off but now it is almost upon you I at least have some small understanding of the fear and nerves you are no doubt feeling as it gets nearer. 

I am off work on Monday so I will be at home trying to relax, and no doubt failing, but I will also be joining everyone here in thinking of you during that day and sending love and hugs to a very special person.

Lots of love to you Jules for Monday and always.

Garf. xxxxx

Re: My Journey Continues

16 Jan 2015 23:16 in response to jules54

Hi Jules,

Like Brian, I admire the way you are coping and am pleased that your legal advice was straightforward. I will be thinking of you on Monday as you have the celebration of hubby's life.  I truly hope that your spirit continues to help you continue coping as well as you have, but rest assured that your forum buddies will always be here for you whatever the days may bring.  Take care.  Hope xx

Re: My Journey Continues

16 Jan 2015 23:26 in response to Hope23

Jules, thank you for your thoughtful message on my thread. It is so lovely of you to be thinking of others whilst going through so much yourself - you are a truly inspirational lady who many care for deeply. I will be thinking of you on Monday, and always x