Together we will beat cancer


Re: My Journey Continues

21 Jan 2015 07:15 in response to LorraineD

Hi Lorraine

Thank you for your supportive words and kind thoughts.  I still have two weeks of bereavement leave before going back to my part time job (I have been to see the work crowd a couple of times and my close workmates were there on Monday too). Am beginning to wonder where I will find time to fit 'work'back in but suppose eventually the protocols/forms etc will slow down )mind you once I have appointed Probate solicitors (another appointment to keep next week!) this will lighten the load.

The next weight to address is regarding my Mother's care arrangements - now five months since I asked for re-assessment with no outcome other than 'fobbing off' messages. Hit the e-mail route yesterday and will give them 14 days to get 'moving' having told them it will be referred to my MP in due course. ow many chances do they want!!!!

Today I am going to visit Mum and then having Zack for a couple of hours as my eldest grandson has hospital appointment to investigate repetetive nosebleeds and possible cauterization treatment. The boys are a constant delight in so many ways and our children/partners and friends have been supurb. 

I know I cannot be permanently strong (and believe me I am not!!) but have plenty of time to relax ahead of me and will feel better once legalities are sorted.  Feeling very much like a 'secretary' on autopilot (well was one in life before children ha ha).

Nop snow in my neck of the woods but today is damp and cloudy (or will  be when darkness lifts).

Hope your recovery is coming along and that you have good support too. We all need 'bear hugs' and I send you virtual ones.  Take care Jules xx

Re: My Journey Continues

21 Jan 2015 07:27 in response to Alexander

Hello Margaret

Friends and family have been  amazing and are still looking after me (tea and cake in plentiful supply).

Hubby's celebration of life was like two sides of a coin with sorrow on one side and wonderful everlasting memories on the other (we are all hanging on to those).  To see so many people attending (even people popping out in their lunch hours to pay their respects plus one person coming in disguise to avoid being noticed by an 'ex') was overwhelming in the show of love and respect for my man.  Like yourself it also bought back other sad memories (having lost a dear friend just nine months ago).  Have to accept there will be emotional ups and downs as I continue travelling my journey of life but hubby would definitely be encouraging me to 'live it' and in turn I am encouraging my children to make the most of every day - perspectives are changing but no one can take the past away from us and we talk often and openly of a wonderful husband, dad and grandad.

Ramble over but thanks for taking the time to talk to me.  Have a peaceful day.

Re: My Journey Continues

21 Jan 2015 07:35 in response to Hope23

Good morning Hope

Am appreciating the kind thoughts you and others are bringing to me just now. Still feels a little strange that I only have myself to 'see to' especially first thing in the morning but still plenty to keep me occupied just now.

Hubby's brother and sister in law returned to Isle of Man yesterday but his elder sister is still over and coming for dinner tomorrow before also returning to the Island. Not sure it has really sunk in for them yet but they are throwing themselves into renovating the 'dream' home (not even proper bed to sleep on yet!) and sometime in the future I expect to visit them all as hubby's representative though suspect he is watching their efforts (as he watches mine to make necessary adjustments!!).

Hope all is well with you and the family.  Take care  Jules x

Re: My Journey Continues

21 Jan 2015 09:21 in response to jules54
Good morning from a snowy South Yorkshire, Jules. So glad that everything went as well as it could for hubby's Celebration of Life service. I hope you and your family can continue to draw on the happy memories you've all created over the years. I see you're visiting mum today. No doubt it will be emotional for you both when you tell her about Monday. It's such a shame that you've got the on-going stress of sorting out your mum's care arrangements too. Enjoy your couple of hours with little Zack this afternoon and I hope your eldest grandson can get his nosebleed problem sorted - poor little mite. Well, Paddy (dog) is chomping at the bit to get out into the snow - think he remembers the fun he had last time it fell (Boxing Day) His delight was almost as tangible as when my children were little and discovered their first snow Haha! Sending love and hugs to you, lovely lady, Jo xxx

Re: My Journey Continues

21 Jan 2015 10:18 in response to jules54

Good morning Jules,

So pleased that everything went okay. I understand what you so clevery wrote to Margret about it being like two sides of a coin. You have a lovely way with words, and is probably helped by all the books you have read. 

I have got to go for a blood test later for my prostate survelance and tonight I have a committee meeting for my local cancer charity. Apparently my grandsons infection is probably in his stomach which is why he keeps feelin/ being sick. he has had quite a few days off school poor lad. One specialist even thinks he may have a cyst in his stomach hence why they are talking of an operation. But as I have said, he still keeps happy and doesnt seem to let things get him down. When I was talking to Mrs B about when I told her I had prostate cancer, She said the reason why she took it so well was that she knew I would get over it as I never let anything worry me and have always looked on the positive side of things. Made me feel real lucky she is my wife and that she had so much faith in me.

I hope you are able to resolve the situation regarding your mothers residence as you dont need added stress on top of all you have been through lately. She is happy where she is so I hope a way can be found to let her stay where she is. Also I hope the hospital are able to sort out your grandsons nose bleeds. I need to sign off for now as I have to leave to go to the surgery shortly,will talk again soon. Take care Jules, sending kind thought and best wishes your way, Brian



Re: My Journey Continues

21 Jan 2015 18:49 in response to Meerkat@65

Hi Jo

Thanks for your post.  No snow where I am but  dry all day.  Just after dusk has started to drizzle but I am now tucked up by the fire with a large mug of tea (shorrtbread tin is empty but choccies look tempting!!!!)

Well, what a day.  Visited Mum  for a while and was greeted with a smile and she had had her hair set - such a difference to see her looking  good!  She has seemed a little more settled (strange what the death of her son in law has brought about - think though she is still 'down' she is also supporting me bless her. Got back home, via shoe shop (new trainers as wore hole in bottom of old ones ha ha) and supermarket (sister in law coming for dinner tomorrow evening  before returning to Isle of Man on Friday and there was a phone message for Mum's new social worker.  I thought my e-mail had done the trick Grin until he said that he called at the home just over a week ago (to see another client) and made enquiries regarding Mum but was informed of my bereavement and decided to give me some breathing space before contacting me - thoughtful start to our contact and he understood my frustrationsHappy.  We have booked an appointment for him to re-assess Mum next Tuesday so I will  be able to go along too.  So will wait and see what happens now!

Eldest grandson had one nostril cauterized at ENT appt. and so we will see if that helps.  He told me he was very brace, had two stickers to prove it and will take them into school tomorrow to show and tell. Zack was no problem for the time I had him (even managed a 25min nap) and has a lovely giggly nature and waited till his Mum and Dad returned before filling his nappy Laugh.  Gave the grandchildren tea and then they went home to get to bed.

Hope Paddy enjoyed is snow walk and you did not get too cold.  Love to look at it but hate it when it goes slushy/icy. 

take care and love and hugs returned with thanks for continued chat/support.  This forum is helping me cope on a day to day basis  naturally a few teary moments but am glad to be able to show emotion and have mutual support of family friends on my new journey forward.  Jules xx



Re: My Journey Continues

21 Jan 2015 19:12 in response to woodworm

Hi Brian

Hope your blood test comes back with good results re your prostate 'levels' and that your meeting this evening went well - you are surely being kept busy and its nice that you can give so much back having dealt with cancer firsthand.

  I have spent a good few hours writing thank you notes in response to the wonderful donations made in hubby's memory and they are still coming in so the chosen charity will be chuffed to bits I hope.

Good news on Mum's re-assessment. Had call today and she has new social worker so we are having a meeting next Tuesday afternoon which should move matters on - a great relief I can tell you. However it turns out, at least we will know where we stand but hopefully she will  be able to stay put- time will tell. She was in good spirits today and had had her hair set too - made such a difference to see her smile on my arrival.

Really hope that your youngest grandson's tummy can be sorted out soon - he is such a brave lad and deserves to be pain free and comfortable so that he can enjoy life and be back with his school friends.

My eldest grandson had bis appointment at the ENT department of local hospital and had one nostril cauterized so hoping this will help him.  Another afternoon out of school but needs must,  He has Science Club after school tomorrow and is really looking forward to it.

Well best go and 'dish up' - have Cornish Pasty in the oven (wont be as good as what you get in Cornwell but the kitchen is not so far to travelWink). All the best to you and Mrs B and hope her brother (and your Dad) still doing ok.  Hugs Jules x

Re: My Journey Continues

21 Jan 2015 19:42 in response to jules54

Hi Jules = I am glad your husbands Celebration of Life went well  - I can imagine it was a very moving occasion and I am glad it went well. It must be strange just making breakfast as you are now. How strange it is!!

my bestest wishes =  you are so strong Jules = do take care = we will be thinking of you

Steven xxx

Re: My Journey Continues

21 Jan 2015 20:11 in response to jules54

Hello Jules so glad things are moving as ragards to mum ,and that the new social worker is more helpful too, about time they got back to you eh ..Good that the donations are mounting up andyou will be proud to hand it over to the charity im sure ..Im so glad you are still able to come to the forum brave lady and still giving much needed support to others, what would we do without you  .My youngest son came to dinner today he had a day of so I made cottage pie his favourite then we walked his dog a jack russel Freddie and Rusty we went to the beach and thought it would quiet but I have never seen so many dogs in one place but it did stay dry for us .Jules Take care hugs sent x...Sueanne

Re: My Journey Continues

21 Jan 2015 20:50 in response to jules54

Hi Jules,

I am so glad for you that Monday went as well as it did and that you were also able to raise as much money as you did in hubby's memory.  You and your family truly are amazing!

It is a shame that, with everything you have had to deal with you are having such a tough time trying to sort out the re-assessment for your Mum.  Threatening them with the PM is a good idea as I discovered recently, after the lack of support from head office after Claire left, that going above somebody's head can be the only way to gert things done.

Just to update on Hannah they said on Sunday that she would receive a dye and scan on her kidneys on Monday which they promptly failed to do.  As a result she will either stay in hospital for another week or go home and then return next week as they only seem able to perform this test on a Monday.  Maybe they do broken legs on Tuesdays and stubbed toes on Wednesdays, (sorry for the sarcasm!)

Will check in soon although I have an awful lot to sort out at work before I take next week off to spend a busman's holiday at home and replace the facia and gutter on the bungalow.

All the very best to you my friend.

Garf. xxx

Re: My Journey Continues

22 Jan 2015 12:29 in response to GARF

Hi Jules, glad you are getting such wonderous support, you deserve it.  Keeping busy is a godsend.  I am still busy , paperwork etc 3 months down the track.  Good mum appears to be doing better. Visited the in laws tdy, first time since hubby passed.MIL only got out of hosp 3 days ago, but was good to be there when nurses visited so I could ask them what was the prognosis etc.... Questions father in law forgets to ask due to his advancing years and all he has on his plate.  Managed to do a bit of weeding for them while MIL dosed and also allowed father in law to talk freely to me.  Son and family will visit them during the weekend, which they will enjoy immensely.  I am so fortunate in my family.big hugs to you , lovely lady.  Kathy xx

Re: My Journey Continues

23 Jan 2015 00:16 in response to brighteyes

Hi Stephen

To be honest having breakfast alone had been a feature long before hubby passed away (lunch and dinner too!!) as in the last months he struggled with food.  Now I am in the strange phase of adjustment to so many things that only time can help with.  Still on that day by day course and keeping occupied through both necessity and good diversions are available too.

Have been able to help our children too so motherly instincts still in use (being needed as well as to comfort is a very real part of the early healing process I find).  Have had sister in law here for the evening before her return to Isle of Man and now 'winding down' before seeing what tomorrow brings (apart from doing the laundry(may order a new washing machine tomorrow!!) and going on my usual bingo night. out).  Kind thoughts sent to you and yours. Jules

Re: My Journey Continues

23 Jan 2015 00:22 in response to sueanne

Hi sueanne

Day to day tasks help to keep me on the straight and narrowWink and being focussed on what needs to be sorted will certainly keep me occupied for weeks and possibly months to come. Not rushing but being practical and am lucky to be able to have the time to give support to those going through similar journies (though sad to know how much pain we all have to go through along the way).

Nice that you had your son and were able to treat him to his fave meal and walk the dogs. I met my daughter in the High Street today and after doing our shopping stopped for hot chocolate (and a cup cake for her!) whilst Zack slept in the pushchair.  Will certainly miss the treats when I go back to work!!!

Take care and sending peaceful thoughts and hugs.  Jules x

Re: My Journey Continues

23 Jan 2015 00:28 in response to GARF

Hi Garf

Really sad to read that Hannah still has no answers yet and is being kept waiting - really horrid time for you all. Maybe another case for 'going higher up' to get results - just wish it was not necessary in every walk of life these days to achieve the right results!!!  No apologies needed for your sarcasm (I suspect you are spitting bricks inside just now).

Hope you find time for some relaxation during your 'busman's holiday'.  I have builder coming at the weekend to 'size up' new wall to keep back garden secure (fence resembles a woodpile!!) and hope to get the car moved too.  Highlight tomorrow could be ordering new washer/dryer - how sad is that ha ha.

Take care of yourself and hope you manage a peaceful break from the work stresses you have been under.  hugs sent your way and I must get some shut eye!  Jules

Re: My Journey Continues

23 Jan 2015 00:36 in response to KathyS

Hi Kathy

Good that  you have managed that 'first visit' to the inlaws - all the firsts seems to come with differing emotions I am finding at present.Hopefully now that your MIL is recuperating at home her progress will be steady and am sure they will enjoy family visits.

  Next week is turning out to be full of appointments so just as well still on leave.  Hoping to off load the paperwork surrounding the legal side of things as should appoint solicitors after the weekend.  This will at least lighten the load. Our eldest grandson, having  had one appointment at hospital yesterday for nasal cauterization has another appointment through to attend Gt Ormond Street Hosp  next week (this refers to check up into 'night rocking' and entails him being watched whilst asleep so I am having Zack so both Mum and Dad can be with him. 

Well the clock has turned onto another day and as I want to be up early tomorrow I had better 'hit the sack'.  Chat soon and do take care of yourself .  Kind and peaceful thoughts are sent your way.  Jules x