Hi there ..

So sorry your going through this heartbraking time. . It's one of the hardest things we do in life .. 

My brother in law was the same .. hadn't been to Drs for years ... he left it too late too .. it was heartbraking to see such a strong man, go from looking so fit, to skeletal... 

How do you carry on .. I'd say make the most of every day .. share tears and feelings ... and it's o.k to say your scared ... trying to stay strong helps no one ... you need to let it out .. in balance ..

If you go on Marie Currie home page ... they help people with a terminal diagnosis and their families ... talk to them ... they may help if he is still at home .. with help sitting with him ... and you need someone to talk to too ... l was amazed at all they do ... reach out as soon as possible. . 

There's been lots of ladies on here that have been in the same position you are now ... hopefull some will pop by to hold your hand through this ... sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie xx

Hi Christie thank you for reply it’s so hard I am on by my self at night and it’s hard he just sleeping all the time now it’s getting hard every night I just cry up and down all night to see he’s ok he try’s to go to the toilet by himself not good so scared he falls he just won’t to die at home so sad thanks again I will do what you said it’s going help me xx

Hi there, 

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's absolutely horrible. My dad was diagnosed in January just gone and has already deteriorated rapidly. He only went to the hospital for an X-ray as he had a chest infection and they told us he had stage 4 lung cancer, already spread to liver and lymphs and not long left to live. I don't know how you cope to be honest, I'm coping much better than anyone else, I'm throwing myself into looking after him and doing all I can for my parents whereas my mum has just absolutely gone to pieces and cries one minute, laughs the next. She's strong one minute and completely broken the next. I think from what I'm seeing with us, it's just a case of taking one day at a time and supporting each other. We just want to make dad as comfortable and as happy as we can in his last few months. I know this was no use at all really but we are thinking of you and are here if you want to chat about it some more. 

Xxxxxxx

Hi thanks for reply it is hard I am up every hour to check on him just in case he fold and hurt his self he wants to stay at home he signs the papers today not to be brought back he’s yellow very thin just bones not nice to see he just won’t me to it all for him I find it hard to do it’s great to speak to someone going through the same thanks just don’t won’t to speak to the family jet about it I am here to if you like to chat to xxxxx

My husband was diagnosed with mucosal melanoma last November. Went to the dentist with a tooth infection and ended up being told he had cancer. He was booked in to have surgery in December but was told the day before it had spread to his liver so couldn’t have the surgery. Then was started on immunotherapy but had to stop that because of raised liver function. Work is helping me through all this but just can’t stand the uncertainty. All we seem to do is cry. He’s been on steroids for weeks to bring the liver function down but nothing seems to work. Got a meeting with the consultant today which we are both dreading 

Hi thanks not good to hear about your husband to just hope you get better news than I did we have a ct scan on Monday if he’s up to it to see where it starts from they thinks he’s not doing to make it to bad not strong to week he hide it from us till to lay that’s the thing he’s on a lot of morphine now they’re putting in drips tomorrow so it’s hard but we’re keep strong for him just talk I am here there lots on here to help you to is going through it with us helps ok mind stay strong xxxxx

[@Annadbe]‍ 

Hi, 

I really feel for you. We had an appointment on Tuesday and have another one next week with the oncologist. I can understand you both dreading it and it's so awful. In some ways these appointments give some clarity but sometimes confuse even more. I don't think they can give any definite answers because everyone is so different. We were told dad could die that evening by the air ambulance doctor as he was so unwell but that was a few weeks back. We've been told 2 months, 6-12 months, now very few months. The uncertainty is the worst part and to us it seems like we just have to accept that? I'm not sure if this is what it's like for everyone though. My mum is crying constantly but dad is holding it together sort of. He's developed severe anxiety but mostly at night.  Otherwise he's still cracking jokes and laughs when I tease him still. Get this appointment done today and go from there. I'm thinking of you and I'm sure everyone else here will be too, even if they haven't replied. Best wishes. Xxxxxxx

Hi feel for you to just hope today goes well for you and your family I am not looking forward to tell my 2 daughters and son today it’s going be hard they no but it’s true now that’s it so hope all goes well talk later I will be here ok Fiona57 xxxxx

[@Fiona57]‍ 

Hi, 

I know it's so hard. All these awful things that happen and it kills you inside watching someone you love beyond words suffering so badly. You're doing the right thing by staying strong. That's what I'm trying to do although my mum who is in yours and [@Annadbe]‍s position is really struggling to cope and I don't think will ever come to terms with it. Taking every day as it comes and not thinking too far ahead can help but not much because this basically sucks really badly and I feel for you guys. 

Xxxxx

Hi I no was tack to her it’s hard for her I no it’s good we all have this to mine on and talk there is just so much you can tell the family you hide from the he dreams a lot but thinks it’s true that’s when you need this someone that’s going through it to thanks just have to be there for him I just wish I can tack the pain away for him I love him so much xxxx