Hi there,
It's been almost two months since my beloved Dad took his last breath, and I miss him more than words can express. Every morning I wake up and seconds later I remember that he's gone and a piece of my heart breaks further. I get on with my day, and for the most part, despite constantly thinking about him, I'm OK. Until I'm not. The tears come when I'm loading laundry into the washing machine, when I take the dog out for a walk, when I cook and I see something he used to use or hold in the kitchen, when I walk past his bedroom, and quite honestly, when my mind is plagued with scenarios he won't be able to enjoy.
I didn't just love my Dad, I adored him. It was an honor to be his daughter. He was kind, smart, funny and loyal beyond measure.
I'm getting married this year and the thought of him not being there breaks me. I'm sad for me but also for him. I can't quite believe he won't be able to enjoy milestone moments like these, but also everything he'd worked so hard for.
I'm also very upset about the fact that he knew he was dying. I know this may sound weird but the thought of him knowing that his days were numbered kills me. I can't quite imagine what would have been going through his mind. How scared and heartbroken he must have felt. He never talked about any of it, but I can't even bring myself to think how scared and sad he must have been.
My Dad passed away at home and I can't get his last hours out of my head. It's like they're embossed in my brain. I just hope he didn't suffer.
I love him, I always will. I miss him, yet I can't believe he's gone. Forever.
