Together we will beat cancer


My Grandad is dying of cancer.

5 Feb 2018 21:02

I don't know how to feel here, but I don't want to talk to my mum or family or they will start crying again. I am close to my grandfather but he always had health problems, he had to have a bypass a few years back and recently got diagnosed again for the third time with cancer about 6 months ago. We all thought he would be fine and the doctor told us that they had caught it early and he would have at least five years. My mum told me today that best case scenario, we have two weeks. You may be thinking that instead of writing in this chat, I should go see him in his last moments but I already say him today and that was quite distressing as he is not the person I used to know. He was never a man of many words but he was incredibly hard working, intelligent, kind and caring. I was so close to my grandparents growing up and even lived in their house at one stage. I don't know how to feel, I can't think about it, I was told last week that we would have at least until Christmas, so I thought he would make it to my 16th birthday but I guess not. I can't imagine him not being here, he was in the hospital over Christmas and we all felt the loss of an enormous presence, he was loved by everyone he knew and my mum told me that when she was ringing his friends to tell them the news, these grown men were balling. The one thing we talked about most was travel as he is the most travelled person I know, I decided recentky to study abroad and I think he was a big part of that and he inspired me to open my eyes and see the world, he is the most giving person I know. I can't imagine not being able to come home from my taels and talk to him about palces we have oth been. I remeber as a chld looking forward so muvh to the one day a week when my Granny would pick me up and mind me for the day, I used to wish in school she would suprise me and bring me home to see her and Grandad. I don't know what to do without him and I can't even say goodbye as he has gotten worse by the day and he can barely comprehend what I am saying. I have so much to do in school and am going on a school trip next week, he talked to me about Krakow the place I am going and he has even been there before. i remeber him going into his study to get sweets for me to bring home, we are a very lovable family and hug every time we see each other and now I can't even get close to him because of the chemo, he has no strength and can't even sleep in his own bed anymore because he can't make it up the stairs. My dad's dad dies when he was a child and I can't believe soon that I won't have any Grandads left. I can't believe another Grandmother will be left alone, I can't believe we will all be left alone. No-one will probably read this but I don't know how I will survive without the glue that holds our whole family together. 

Re: My Grandad is dying of cancer.

5 Feb 2018 23:39 in response to grace.atk

Hello grace.atk.  I was 14 when my maternal grandad died.  He was the first person in my close family who died.   I had been very close to him - when I was younger he would sit me on his knee and read stories to me and he was so kind.  I think that was when I realised that the world was not always nice and secure.  My mum was devastated and my nana was also.  But the larger family (aunts, uncles, cousins) kept close to each other and the family bonds held tight. 

I am much older than you and over the years have lost too many loved ones.  I don't know the make-up of your family but while you can never replace your grandad other family bonds should hold securely.  You will of course be very sad but his memory will not fade and will still be the person who has nurtured you over your young years.  Because of his spending so much time talking to you the world will be more interesting.

It must be heartbreaking to watch your grandad becoe so frail but sadly that is the nature of the beast - cancer.  Even though he is now so weak he will be aware of your love for him.  Grief is a hard lesson but you will gradually find a way through it, at your own pace.