Hi there welcome to our little chat room ... sorry to hear your friends diagnosis... I too went very quiet on first hearing the word cancer... withdrew for couple of days just curled up in a ball .. I needed to get my head around it ... after a chat with my daughter in law ... it all came together and I felt strong enough to share with my family , and let them in ... so maybe she needs a wee bit of time to ajust... 

In all my years of working in caring jobs the one thing so many have in common is firstly coming to terms, then just having someone to hold your hand and just listen... they know you can't make it go away and they realise others are hurting too... you can listen, share a few tears, and say you'll be there no matter what ... you have the chance to make her remaining time filled with love and let her know she can say what's on her mind, even if it's hard to hear ... find out what she still wants to do .. and most of all don't look to her going, say she's here today what memorie can we make today ... 

My mum left suddenly with a heart attack,  I had no time to say I loved her, or do any of those things I wrote ... just a huge hole left in our lives ... it's o.k to admit your both scared ... but you have the time to say all those things you feel in your heart .. so take each day in both hands and sometimes just saying nothing but being there will help her on this journey she finds herself on... sending you a big hug ..chrisie xx