hello.

i am here hoping i can find some advice on a situation my family have been dealing with for around one month. 

my father used to be a typical father. he’d put on a suit, drive us, his three teenage children, to school and then return home at around 5pm, just in time for dinner. Family life was near enough perfect and it was an absolute blessing. 

Then, he began to act differently. he’d go shopping and not return for hours. he found it difficult to go upstairs. He was having headaches and was sensitive to loud noises which had never happened before.

flash forward a couple of months (late january?) and a doctor and my mother assumed it was early stage dementia and we just sort of accepted that things would be different and we’d have to adjust.

One morning, i can only assume that my father collapsed. He was kneeling on the floor with his face buried into a sofa. he couldn’t get up. Luckily, some first aiders were able to get him up and my family thought it was a tiny bit concerning, but we carried on anyway.

The next thing happened shortly after. I’d been at my school’s parents evening and when my mother and i had returned home, my father had been in the shower for over two hours and was practically flooding the house. the emergency services came hours later (we specified he wasn’t a priority as there are a lot more serious things to be dealt with). 

My my father was then sent to hospital after it was discovered he had pneumonia. 

It was at this time that the hospital decided to tell us he had cancer, and that they’d known for a while.

I just need some advice on how i should cope. it’s hard because i know he doesn’t have long and he’ll probably be gone by the time i turn 17 but i just need a way of coping with the constant stress and fear. i’ve always been a person who likes to plan ahead so it’s eveknmore stressful because of that. 

if anyone has any advice or has had their own experiences, please let me know.

thank you