Hello hun xx

So sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. It is awful to be haunted by such memories (I lost my Mum and remember going through the same). 

From my experience)...the pain does get better. To be honest...I don’t really think about Mum’s suffering times...there are so many other memories ...good, positive and funny memories that they’ve taken over. I’m sure it will be the same for you xx 

This is temporary...it might not feel like it but I’m proof that it does get better. It hurts to have lost my mum but...it’s not like a knife through the heart and there aren’t any distressing thoughts and memories. 

Please remember - terminal restlessness is not a definite indication that a person is in pain. There are many, many reasons for this occurring xxx it doesn’t mean the person is in pain - it can be caused by a number of things. This includes facial expressions that appear distressed or anguished...doesn’t mean they are at that stage, ok? xx I think...when you get that thought, as unpleasant as it is...you could choose to respond to it in that way...I.e “I know that there are many reasons why he appeared to be in pain or distressed. Him appearing to be distressed and in pain doesn’t mean that he was at all. ” xx 

Dont worry about how you should or shouldn’t be feeling...just go with it xx

you will get there, promise x x 

Thank you for sharing your pain with mine. I really appreciate your thoughts and advice. I'm so sorry for your loss too. xx

So sorry to read your post and your worries over your Dad`s passing.I am sure you have been ressured by starcatone, and nurses and doctors will say the same to you . At this moment you will not believe you will ever forget those worries,those images or believe ressurances ,but can i say you will .They will fade and better memories will take over believe me. I was absolutly adament when i lost my husband to Cancer i would have the image of him a shell of his former self implanted on my mind for ever and that would be the only way i would remember him . A councillor who was working with MacMillan nurses said to me that i would start remembering him as a well man ,the husband and father he was ,at the time i really could  not believe it -----but as time passed she was so right ,my children (now grown up ) and myself recall their Dad all the time and we all say they remember him as a well man ,as he was not on the day he passed away . You were all so blessed as a family to be by his side .May your healing be gentle and  be ressured your memories soon will be happy ones .

I’m so so sorry for your loss and upsetting situation. This forum is full of heartbreaking stories but yours really struck a cord with me as my father also passed away on Monday morning. He had been saying “help me, help me” before he went and I too can’t get his anguished facial expression out of my mind. My family and I have also been using gallows humour, which does help somewhat. It’s interesting to read the similarities though obviously I wish no one had to be in this situation. I feel exactly as you described so perhaps these feelings are “normal”. The only positive I can give is that at least our fathers are no longer suffering - I hope you can try to think this way too. Please also try to remember that your father was at home with you and your family - you were there when he needed you most! People keep saying that the most recent memories will fade over time and the more important joyous memories of your father will shine through, so I’m sure this will be the case, it just takes time. Sorry I can’t help (really wish I could) but thank you for posting here as reading what you wrote has helped me feel less alone and may help others in future. Thinking of you and your father at this awful time. Take care of yourself xx 

Hi, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. My dad also passed away two weeks ago, and my mum is in the later stages of dementia, It’s just a nightmare. But the way im getting through is by being thankful that he isn’t suffering anymore ,and he lived to be 87 which is not bad, although I’m going to miss him so much. Also I know from loosing my step dad 2 years ago that it does get easier with time,and you do remember them as the lovely person they were, I hope this helps in some way xxxx

Thank you. I really appreciate you taking the time to share your pain and offer your support. I hope you are doing well and will continue to do so x

Thank you for your kindness. I'm so very sorry for all the loss you've endured.