Hi buff buff

My heart goes out to you, Its not fair at any age and 67 is too young. I know it wont help but at least he is well enough for chemo, my mum is not fit enough for any treatment at all . I too am struggling to come to terms with it....it was total shock...she went to docs with breathlessnesss...she sent her straight to A n E.

Keep strong dear...hugs

Helen x

Hi Helen, 

Thanks for your reply.  I'm finding it so hard cause even though I'm 38 I haven't got married yet or had a baby yet and I just feel like my whole life cld be different at some point and he won't be there and that seems horrendous.  

I rely don't think u realise how short life really is until u are in the throws of loosing a parent.

Has your mum been given and pain killers or morphine?, dad has the liquid morphine but that made him really sick so he's on the tablets now and they really help him.  Why won't they do any chemo to help your mum my dad was so weak before he still is but without the chemo I don't think he would still be with us.  He was sleeping all day on and off but now he only goes to bed once a day so at least he can sit in the garden watch telly 

I hope your mum gets some help 

Dawn xxx

Hi, 

Sorry to hear about your father and how unwell he is. May I ask has he been diagnosed as having 'incurable' cancer or 'terminal'? The reason I ask is because there is a bit of a difference between the two! 

I only turned 27 last week. And my Dad at 63, was diagnosed last April with incurable stage 4 bowel cancer with secondaries to his lungs and liver. He also had a stroke in February just gone. None of the chemo he's had so far has worked on him but he's still fighting and you wouldn't even know how ill he really is. So I understand how you're feeling...I too think about the future and what he may miss out on such as walking me down the aisle. I have a two and a half year old boy already. 

Our father's are both too young to go anywhere. Life is very unfair and a lot of the time to the wrong people. Nobody can answer where we go once we die but we can only hope that there's more than just this life and that we will meet our loved ones again. I like to think that way it helps me face up to what lies ahead. Give it time it's not that long ago he was diagnosed it took me about 6 months to fully digest what was happening to my Dad and as each week passes I cried a little less and now I rarely cry at all. You just find this inner strength that you never knew you had until you really need it. Make sure you get support for yourself and don't ask too much of yourself either. There's a lot to take in! Just spend the time with your Dad and create some memories however you wish...whether it be taking some photos or videos, watching films, listening to music, a walk in the park, lunch out or just remanicing about the old times. 

Big hugs x 

Hi Dawn

I understand why you are finding it hard hun, my real Dad died suddenly of heart attack when i was 14...he was 47, then my stepfather died of cancer 7 years later so this is third time for me and then i expect my second stepdad will follow soon after my mum. She also has pulmonary fibrosisaswell as osteoporosis ...her body wouldnt cope with chemo or surgery..but at moment she has no pain thank god.

Try not to think too much about the future hun make the most of your time together...like what Butterfly said.

Take care n try to keep strong for your dad

Xx

Hi butterfly/Helen 

I think I've been trapped in this world of how things should be your parents die old in their late 70"s 80"s.  Last year was a really awful year on July 18th my beloved dog Simba died he was only2.5 it was very sudden he loved swimming and it was a really hot my partner Darran bought him a paddling pool 20 mins later he came out in a weird disorientated state we rushed him to the vets but he died of secondary drowning I really blamed my self for months and months and months I was in bits he wasn't a dog to me he was like my child my best friend and my family rolled into one, my relationship with my dad has always been bad over the years he has mellowed these last 2 years so controlling if u didn't think the same as him you was an idiot, plus my brother suffers tremendous bouts of depression since I was 8 or 9 so I kind of brought myself up and was pushed aside cause mark needed them more.  When simba died my dad was my rock we became very close he understood how I felt and didn't come out with stupid things to make me feel better. I see a therapist and I said to her about simba I'm so so broken but I know this won't be the worst thing that happens to me I'm terms off loss.  I didn't expect it so soon , I've gone from loosing my amazing friend so cruley  to now my dad, because of how my dad has been all these years I started to drink in my early 20"s to shut things out and numb the pain and then I just become a functioning alcholic.  Over the last 4 yrs I've been trying to beat it and I do for a couple of mnths but since simba and now dad I'm finding it hard again.  Anyway I will stop my rambling my point is I thought now things are good with dad we will have time but life isn't like that is it, like poor victoria wood yesterday I bet her kids are only in their 20's and your losses life just isn't nice at times

hugs Dawn xxx

Do you know what girls I'm laying here in bed on my phone not wanting to get up cause I feel low.  I'm going to get up and brush off my trainers and go to the gym then see if any aa meetings are on.  You have made me feel like I can grab a bit more of my Inner strength - have a nice day both x well best as you can 

I know exactly what you're going through. My dad has a very aggressive tumour. He wasn't offered any treatment because it's inoperable, untreatable. He's been given 3-6months to live, we only found out that he had a tumour 2 weeks ago.

I don't have the words to make you feel better. Just know that I know what you're going through, and sadly so do a lot of other people. I hope you find you're way - I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. All the best xxx

Hi Angela, 

thank you for your reply and wishes.  It's just awful I feel for you and your family too, let's just make memories xx

take care hun here if you need to rant anytime 

Dawn xx

Hi Buff Buff,

Sorry to hear about your Dad. My Dad (68)has just found out he has terminal stage 4 lung cancer as well. His biggest wish is just to be able to continue playing golf for as long as he can. I have taken 12 weeks off work to spend as much time with him as I can. I understand your pain. 

Was your Dad's energy able to return to normal after chemo or has it just made him comfortable?

Good luck and all the best.

Hi browner21

oh no your dads in the same bad same age too all but a year.  Before chemo dad was asleep on and off all day and in so much pain. I didn't realise you could have chemo to make you feel better and we was all thinking we don't want poor dad having chemo which will make him worse just for a bit more time.  But he has been so much Better they don't give you huge strengths of chemo when it can not be cured so he hasn't lost his hair or anything and in his words he feels 100 times better he still can't do lots of things he loves gardening but it really wears him out but he is at least able to pop out he's even been driving again and visiting people.  For my dad it's the emotional pain too his just so scared which is so horrible to see when there is just nothing you can do.  

Keep eps strong and big hugs 

xx