I am so sorry to read this White Flacon and our hearts go out to you and your family. Yes, its truely dreadful watching Dad so very ill. He is probably preparing for passing away so this is a precious time to say final things. This happened to mum recently and I left my video camers running while we chatted = I now have a wonderful video of her telling us about when we were young. I think we look at passing differently from those to whom its happening = it is part of lifes normal process and I think for them its bearable. Its everyone else thats truly suffering = and our hearts go out to you all at this time. Life is unfathomable some times.

I share your feelings of sadness and heartbreaking = its terrible

We will be praying for you all

Feel held in your grief

Steven xxx

Hi kate, I don't think you are disloyal, just a loving daughter in tune with your Dad and feeling the hurt. Hopefully your Dad  is comfortable and has pain control as needed, this could be one of the reasons he is not himself which is so difficult to witness.  Remember hearing is the last to go. I remember visitors talking, saying they would go as I was asleep. I wanted to respond  please stay, I'm here, but was unable to because of post op medication.  As Steven says - happier times talked about can be a comfort for all.

Sending a big hug, Gardenlady.

Hi Kate,
I am so sorry to see the reason you have joined the forum.  I, as well as lot of others have seen what you are experiencing.
Your dad is still there although the shell that is incasing him has changed.  You are not feeling disloyal wishing your dad to be relieved of his pain and suffering, you are a good and loving daughter.  It is so sad to witness someone you love losing their independence.
Please take care of yourself and remember your health is also important.
Thinking of you and your family,
Sending you a virtual hug
Kathy x
 

Thank you all so very much for your kind words and wishes. It really is a great comfort. 

I'm also sorry that you have all been in a position to understand where I am coming from. What a truly devastating disease this is. 

Best wishes to you all and thank you for taking the time to reply. 

Kate x 

My heart goes out to you and your family  all you just need to be there and hold his hand and just talk to him 

I'm in the same boat my mum is dying with advance liver take care

Hi Kate,
Even though Dad may not appear to be responsive due to Meds he may be able to hear you talking even if staring into space, a suggestion is to talk about good memories out loud, tell him how much you love/appreciate him.
Sometimes the meds can give hallucinations, I was fortunate as could talk hubby down by reassuring him all was well, speaking calmly all the time.  Once he "saw" spiders in my hair and tried to remove, another time saw a baby in danger, I was able to reason our dog was next to us and wasn't alarmed therefore all was ok.
I don't know if this will help you honey.
You are not alone, you have "virtual" friends here to rant, rave , outpour too.  We understand.
Hugs Kathy x