Hi HB, 

I'm so sorry to hear that about your father's situation and just wanted to let you know that we are here to help you through this. I know you are wanting to connect with others in a similar situation and I'm sure our members will reply soon to offer their support and advice but I also wanted to make you aware of a website that is specifically for teenagers who have a parent that has cancer. The website is called riprap and also has a forum like ours where you can talk to others your age that may be going through the same experience as you so do have a look at it when you can as I think it will really help you at this time.

I'm really glad to hear you have a strong and supportive network of family and friends to help you at this time but if you would like to talk to our cancer nurses about this as well you can call them for free on 0808 800 4040. They are available Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m. 

Our thoughts are with you and your family at this time.

Best wishes to you all, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Dear HB

I just want to say for your age you are such a brace young women and for you to post your thoughts and feelings here takes such courage.

I was with my auntie when she died on Sunday, I am 31 and never experienced being with someone when they die. 

She was unconscious most of the time towards the end but I still sat and talked to her about all the normal things.

Are you still able to go and sit with him? Just go and hold his hand, people have always told me that the hearing is the last thing to go, I don't know if that's true or not but that did give me comfort.

good luck with your exams and please do keep talking about how your feeling x

Hello HB, I lost my dad to a brain tumour 10 years ago and I remember the feelings I felt leading up to his passing. It is a deep sadness that I can honestly say will not go away and after his passing, you will go through a detached, almost fog like shock that noone will really understand but you. This will make you strong but it will also make you feel lonely at times. When this happens, try to understand that it's Ok to feel this way. You'll be ok. Memories are very fragile and I encourage you to remember all the wonderful times you have shared with your Dad, remember them everyday. Do not let his physical and mental state right now be all you come to remember of your Dad. Stay positive for your family, be there for each other, learn to understand each other and how the days can be very hard, very dark at times. I know you feel you have so much to say to him, so much you want to hear from him but all you can do now is be there at his side, hold his hand, talk to him as if he can hear you and help him to pass peacefully. You will get through this, you will. Be positive sweetheart, feel blessed you knew him for as long as you have, feel lucky for your time you have shared together even if it feels unfair it's been cut short. This will make you into a very strong and loving person, make your dad proud, show him that you have the determination to make your days count, make your life matter and find meaning in your life. Whenever it gets too much, travel, surround yourself with water- lakes, the ocean, sea, it will give you peace. Time will pass, time will heal you. All my love to you xxx