Together we will beat cancer


My dad has stage 4 lung cancer... I feel so heartbroken

26 Dec 2017 19:09

I’m 26 and an only child, my father is my best friend and one of my favourite people in the world... and he has cancer. I just feel so heartbroken and upset. Both me and my mother, who is amazing and supporting in the best way she can. He was diagnosed last December as stage 1, had several operations, we thought we caught it early... he had a round of Chemo, and unfortunately the chemo result came back and it failed. It spread to his adrenal gland and a lymph node in his lung. He was told in October he had 8 months to live, if he could not get on this immunotherapy treatment which he will do for 2 years. 

Luckily he was accepted to get the treatment! Which is amazing! And I am trying my hardest to keep hope and not be so sad. Trying to be strong for him. But I am finding it hard and can’t help but feel this very real time limit that I have with him all of a sudden. It’s like someone has stolen our future time together and it feels awful. My emotions feel so up and down. I just don’t know what to think or how to feel. 

Re: My dad has stage 4 lung cancer... I feel so heartbroken

26 Dec 2017 19:46 in response to Laurensuyin

So sorry, Laurensyn, about your father's illness.  What nasty kicks in the teeth life sometimes give.    We know our parents will die one day but it is another matter to realise that it might just be sooner rather than later.  You just don't know and it may be obvious but all I can say is to make each day count.  I hope the outcome is not as bleak as you fear; it is great that your father has got the immunotherapy treatment so let us hope that this is a good sign.  I hope you manage to settle your feelings and enjoy your time with your father which will hopefully be a long one.

Re: My dad has stage 4 lung cancer... I feel so heartbroken

26 Dec 2017 23:45 in response to Annieliz

Thank you Annie for your very kind words. Xxxxx

Re: My dad has stage 4 lung cancer... I feel so heartbroken

29 Dec 2017 09:00 in response to Laurensuyin

Sorry to be reading what a sad time you're going through with your Dad at the moment. All I can say is I hope things turn out more positive for your Dad and this treatment he will be starting soon will give him much more time. I always say whilst there are still options available then there is still hope. Try not to worry too much because you will make yourself ill and drive yourself crazy, easier said than done I know. Instead look at it as time that you have together to make more memories. Take lots of photos, videos and spend as much time as you can with him. I felt the exact same way back in 2015 when my Dad was diagnosed, I was 26 at the 28. I remember all those feelings of devastation. Already grieving for the future that I know he won't be part of one day, the things he will miss out on. But I always had hope that whilst options were still available then it meant he still had a chance to be here for a little while longer. Even though we was told he would always have cancer and would die from it one day we just always hoped he would be around for a good while yet. Unfortunately in August this year he passed away. I was there when he died and although I'm glad he is out of pain and suffering, I just wish it didn't happen the way it did. So if you ever need a chat with someone who understands and sympathises you're always welcome to give me a message. It is painfully difficult and at times very lonely because not many people if any do understand that are around you. So it is a comfort to visit places like this where we all are here for the same thing.