Together we will beat cancer


My dad has gone.

20 Jul 2019 21:27

I lost my dad on Wednesday, lost his battle to cancer. We was not expecting to happen so suddenly. I'm lost, scared carnt stop thinking of him. I just want him back! He lived alone and didn't want to be in hospital. We all called round or phoned him often.he was never alone long. But he died alone falling of the chair and carnt stop thinking if it was sudden or not Im really upset and distressed. 

My dad has gone.

21 Jul 2019 06:15 in response to Danny220875

Hi danny so sorry about your dad i i wou imagine he went quick sometime people wait till there alone and pass others are the opposit dont let the what ifs creep into you head they tend to come with grief and i think they are most painful to deal with because if you had been there 24/7 i can asure you you would think of something else thats how it works just try and get through this as best you can its a horrid road to travel but we have to get through it ime not going to say anymore as its to early but keep coming on i know you may not but thats ok to .just be with loved ones as much as you can to get through the following weeks then come on here you know if it gets to hard you can ring the samartans there there for everyone ime 65 and i did especialy on a night when it was closing in on me .its free fom your mobile numbers on the web its a quew system but you dont wait long just a friendly voice a five minute chat can make all the diffrence i found if i didnt get a person i ciuld gell with i i said thank you rang off and rang back they dont take your address or anything . But onece again ime sorry you and your family are going through this and have been touched by this rotton disease .paul

My dad has gone.

21 Jul 2019 13:56 in response to Danny220875

Hi Danny - it's awful that you have lost your dad especially when it was so sudden. It's a huge shock & it's really no wonder you feel so distressed & upset. There's every chance that your dad didn't know what was happening & you mustn't focus on that even tho' I know that's easier said than done. 

You say you just want hime back - of course you do - that's the way everyone feels when someone they love so much dies. We somehow think if we wish it hard enough it will happen but of course it can't. It's part of the grieving process & something we all have to go thro'. You will, in a little while, come to accept that he has gone & when you do you will no longer feel quite so desperate to have him back. But it takes a little time & you need to give yourself that time - painful tho it is.

There aren't any shortcuts I'm afraid. I wish there were & I wish there were some magic words someone has that would make the pain go away because I know it does feel unbearable. That feeling of being lost & scared is normal so try not to worry too much about that but try to accept that is how you will feel for a time. But, it DOES get better, it all DOES go away. Just give it a little bit of time. Post here whenever you need to get things off your chest & we'll do what we can to help. Take care of yourself. x

My dad has gone.

21 Jul 2019 17:09 in response to purrfect

Thank you