Has he always been this way?

If he has, there's probably not much more you can do about it, especially if he doesn't want you to sit in on his consultations.

Frustrating. as I know from experience.

Good luck
Dave 

In answer to your question [@davek]‍ I would probably have to say yes. Not all the time, but much like a lot of people my dad's been known to have his moments when he knows best and won't be told otherwise, particularly when stressed.

To be honest, his week hadn't got off to the best of starts for him (or us), after discovering that a relative had written a letter of complaint to his GP. It was meant with the best of intentions, but on so many levels really wasn't the best thing to have done.

I suspect this unwelcome interference from the relative has possibly contributed to his negative reaction towards my mother, and maybe an overall feeling that he's now being perceived as the victim and incapable of knowing his own mind. This is purely speculation on my part though.

Hi,

I've seen this from both sides as both a son of a cancer patient and as a cancer parient - it isn't easy from either perspective.

I worried about whether my Mum was receiving the best treatment available and telling her consultant everything and she told me off (in the nicest possible way) for interfering. A few years later, I asked my son (who just to complicate things is a doctor) to sit with me in an early meeting with my onclogist. This was mainly to help fill in any gaps in the questions I asked, to save me having to reassure him and my wife that I'd asked everything I should have and to avoid me having to repeat everything said. 

I can understand how your Dad might feel about not wanting to be perceived as a cancer victim and maybe want to retain what little control he feels he has. Most cancer patients, including me, can relate to that. 

I hope things become clearer and more hopeful after Monday.

Best wishes

Dave