Cancer Research UK on Google+ Cancer Research UK on Facebook Cancer Research UK on Twitter

Let's beat cancer sooner

Please visit this post if you are experiencing problems signing up or logging into the forum.

My dad

12 Oct 2017 15:38

In mid August my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 incurable pancreatic cancer that has spread to his liver. This has come to us as a complete shock. My dad is 54, and ridiculously fit and healthy. Not in a million years did I think something like this would happen to him.

I am an only child and my parents have split up (albeit it they have started talking and become friends again since the diagnosis).

The first doctor he spoke to said he had about a year to live, since then another doctor has said they won’t know how long until they know how he has responded to chemo.

He’s currently in hospital as the chemo has messed with his intestines and they have found out that the chemo treatment he has been having since the start of September hasn’t worked and the cancer is slightly worse.

Obviously this has come as another shock as I had been expecting things to flat line for a bit. I’m really struggling with my emotions and feel like I’m going to cry at any given moment, time feels like it’s suddenly going really quickly which makes me feel like I’m running out of time to spend with him. I keep thinking about things that he’ll miss, like when I eventually have children etc and its breaking my heart.

Was wondering if anyone had been through something similar and had any advice?

Re: My dad

12 Oct 2017 19:07 in response to M24

Hi there ... so sorry to hear your dads diagnosis... it can strike anyone and turn worlds upside down ... and has no sympathy, it’s just one cruel disease... but at least you have a little time to make memories your heart will keep forever... my mum went suddenly with a heart attach and I never even had one more day .... to hold her and tell her all that was in my heart ... she was fine in the morning, chatting on the phone.. the last thing she said was see you tomorrow... at 2.20 pm she was gone ... 

so all I can say to you is grab hold of any time you’ve been given ... hold his hand and help him walk this path ... together... don’t leave nothing unsaid... share tears, hugs, and I bet along the way you’ll have a few smiles too .. try not to look ahead ... stay in the day ... and know there will be highs and lows and you’ll have every feeling you can think of ... it’s all part of loving someone so much... cancer wants us to give in a cry forever , but every time you have a good day, you will be giving it a kick up it’s jacksy ... 

I feel my mum looking down, and tell her all the things I would if she were here ... I tell her about her grandkids and all they get up too .. my little grand daughter Emily 5 ..I tell her. she’s the brightest star up there.. and she always says... there’s your mummy, nanny... so hold on in there hunny .. your braver then you know ... sending you a big hug ... Chrisie xx ❤️