Hi,

I am so sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis. This will be very hard for your mum and you as well as your dad. Hearing this sort of news out of the blue is extremely unsettling. Do you have any more family in London who can help your mum out? She will have to be strong for your dad now. You can both cry as much as you want to when you are not with your dad. It is a good release valve and you will find it easier to cope when you release some of the stress.

It is sad to see how quickly a fit man can deteriorate and it is very hard to watch a loved one suffering pain. It is particularly upsetting when you cannot get to see him as often as you’d like to.

The phone can be a boon in such situations. Phone your mum and dad as often as you can. It will be a comfort to them to know that you are with them in spirit if not in person. Waiting on results is always stressful and it is perfectly normal to feel as you do. Most of us feel the same at this time.

Fortunately, your daughter is young enough that she probably doesn’t realise what is happening. As a consequence, she will make all her usual demands of you. It is a good thing to keep yourself busy at times like this. Take your daughter to the play park in this lovely weather and enjoy yourselves.

Try not to dwell on his secondary diagnosis. Take things day by day and make as many good memories with your dad as possible.

I hope that he gets the results of his biopsy next week. Do keep in touch and let us know how he gets on. We are here to support all of you, so don’t hesitate to come back to us.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you so much you sound like a very kind person. It's like my mind is constantly thinking about it it's making me so sad and depressed I'm quite good at putting on a front though ..? I think I need to get help .... I'm so far away .... he's not really wanting much contact with anyone and not replying to my messages my mum just says he feels so rough all the time im just heart broken but trying to focus on my husband and child ...