Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story.
I hope you are coping alright, even after a long illness death can come as a shock and can leave our loved ones feeling anywhere from feeling emotionally numb through to completely devastated.
Thank you for your reply Dave, My wife was only diagnosed 3 months ago & her chemotherapy was due to start in 2 weeks time but I lost her yesterday, My heart is broken & my head is so confused. For the past 29 years she was always the strong one & looked after me like a loving wife & bestfriend. Please everybody who happeneds to read this just give your loved ones a big hug & a kiss & tell them you love them.
Hello Pete, My condolences on your loss. It really is an overwhelming sense of helplessness when we have to sit and watch someone we love die. My brother lost his wife of 44 years two years ago. Her GP said she had a bad cold but she died 7 weeks later not knowing she had cancer until the end. Such a shock but then she never lingered in lots of pain like alot of cancer patients do and for that part we are grateful. Absorbing the enormity of not having your wife anymore will be so consuming and I wish you peace and comfort as you
Just wanted to add my condolences and hope you have other family members with whom you can talk. Be kind to yourself and don't neglect yourself. If you haven't got or don't feel like talking to family and/or friends you could ring the Cruse bereavement service (Freefone 0808 808 1677) just to chat. I have never used them but know people who have and they are said to be very helpful in times of such sorrow. I know that nothing in your previous life prepares you for such tragic loss, whatever the cause. So it should help to talk. This website is part of that!
I too Pete have been married for 29 years. My husband was given weeks to live on 21st September (with no prior knowledge he had cancer) but is still with us. They could not offer treatment of any kind. Should I be grateful he is still here? - no, because that would make me selfish, and this really is foremost about him, not me. To see him looking like a skeleton, having trouble breathing, becoming incontinent, in pain, a fraction of the man he was, is heartbreaking. Yes i shall suffer the loss when his time comes but for him it will be a blessed release.
Hi Petra... I saw my bro in law like that and it really isn't fare ... I know my mum went quick with heart attack and I always wish I'd had a little time with her ... but I realise now that was selfish coz that was for me ... I can't imagine watching her go slowly ... for her, its the way she wanted to go ...but my heart goes out to you, and yes you are a brave lady ...
And Pete... my thoughts are with you too ... words are beyond me ... but I can send you a hug ... hold on bud ... Chrissie xx
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It's such a hard thing to go through. We all want to grow up and retire but never think about who we're going to lose along the way.
This is the rawest part of your journey to acceptance. I found sipping hot drinks a very little comfort and also going to the cemetery. You're with your loved one and it gets you up, dressed, out of the house and into some fresh air. You then start to look forward to visiting your loved one and that breaks up the huge boulder crushing your heart (it's a crack of relief from the boulder but a very welcome crack of relief even if it is only for a little while).
Once you've been to the cemetery you feel a sense of peace come over you (the sadness is always there but different feelings break you out of the numbness and vastness of the pain).
That was my experience when I lost my brother this year.
I really wish you all the best.
Keep posting on here, talking/typing to people who are going through similar things will help too.
Thank you for your kind & helpful words I do appreciate it, My wife's family have been brilliant in their words of support & for just being their for me but I just feel so alone.
