ive decided to share what has been going on in my life over the last few years mainly to help me get out what I want to say. In an un selfish way but to ease the pressure in my head of holding everything in.
2 years ago almost I experienced my great aunt die from cancer, a disease I did not understand fully at this time but nether the less to watch the physical change in someone so quick was heartbreaking. My aunt passed peacefully in her own bed how she wanted which is a comfort to me.
During this time my Nan who was also my best friend in life was battling lung cancer. This lady was amazing and there are no words to describe the battle,she faced with this horrible disease. She was only given a year to live but beat the odds andstayed with us for almost another year. Again I watched the physical changes in her and this time it was a lot more drawn out and hard to see. She went through some real tough times. Times when we were called to say goodbye as we thought she would not make it through the night for her to defy the odds once again and carry on.
I lost my Nan in the end to this disease in January last year. There is no way to describe the loss and emptiness in my heart without her. I still to this day look at her number in my phone and want to call her and just have a chat, get some advice on what to do, speak and see my Nan....my best friend.
Now this his is where my life gets really messed up, 2 months before my Nan passed my 47 year old mum was booked to have a hysterectomy after a life time of problems in that area. She had the operation and was told all went well. Then she is called back to the hospital for what she believes to be a routine follow up after her surgery. She goes alone as was not advised that anything else could be going on here.
She is in the room with the consultant who then also calls for a nurse. Then she is hit with the news YOU HAVE CANCER!!!
and not any old cancer no, a rare sarcoma cancer. Now to this day although it can not be proved we believe that if she did not have the original operation this would not have happened. It has happened though.
I am then a 26 year old guy, I have lost my aunt and loosing my Nan and I am then told my mum has cancer. I can't believe what I am hearing. To the point I actually question if someone is having some kind of sick joke with me.
Now I really begin to learn what this cancer life is like for someone. Referred to a well known hospital in London who deals with sarcoma cancers. She has scan after scan and offered treatment to prolong life, but told in no uncertain terms you won't make it to Christmas.
Mum has had radiotherapy and chemo which to be fair nearly did kill her...one dose of this and she was in hospital for three weeks, hasn't touched a thing not shrunk anything just made her ill and loose all her hair. (I am not trying to scare anyone who is thinking of having this form of treatment as it is different for everyone and works differently for everyone) I am just very emotionally charged at the moment by our own personal circumstances and can only write how I feel about what has happened to us.
So so more scans and it has spread to her liver...bones....lungs...pelvic area I mean the list goes on and again told we have a few months.
This is probably the good bit...it is now march the 7th and mum is stil with us. I actually write this now laying on her sofa whilst she is sleeping as it is my day to care for her. She is very poorly, and is getting weaker by the day and every day she is with us is a blessing but don't always believe what the docs say because she has a young heart and a young mind and is fighting this all the way. Mum will die from this, and it is going to happen soon. I don't know if I am prepared for this to happen. I mean I think I am. I have had so long to think about it I be
