Due to my mums legs getting worse, she has asked me to be her carer soon as she knows her legs are going from under her..where do i even begin to looking into this???any info would be great.thanks
Hi there and welcome to the forum, but sorry you find yourself here because your Mom is ill. You don't say what exactly is wrong with your Mom, but I assume she is ill with cancer, since you joined this forum. I'm also not sure what kind of help you need for her and yourself, but I'm sure a good place to start would be with her doctor who would be knowledgeable about her condition and her needs. You sound like you're really stressed out about this and it is a scary position to be in, especially if you don't have any family supports to help you out there. If you do have family, or friends of your Mom, perhaps they can offer some help to you as well.
Come back on to the forum to let us know how things are and get some support on here for yourself. Your Mom is fortunate that she has you there for her.
SuneadHey Lorraine..sorry never explained much about mum she had breast cancer bout 16/17 years ago&had it removed.then 4 years ago unfortunately it returned&is in her bones.it started of in her back has now soread to her hip,ribs,shoulder&more than likely her feet as she has cracked bone&it wearing away but both legs seem to be going from under her.she asked me twice yestrday would i be her carer.dont know were to start or what to do.also last ct scan showed something in her bowels which she is now getting investigated for.then last mon her bone scan was showing something in her throat.so now awaiting more results!just so hard to watch we bought her a night away&they headed on coupla nore noghts the difference i seen in 4 days wasnt nice.just one day at a time!
So sorry to hear how poorly you Mum has become but she is so lucky to have you to help with her care. Like Lorraine has mentioned getting your Mum's GP involved (if not already on board) would be the best first course of action as they will be able to assess situation (your Mum would have to give her medical team her permission to discuss her care with you) and you can let them know how you need help. It is very much a day to day situation (Saw my hubby through three years after diagnosis and it was a daily learning curve).
Please come back to the forum, if only for support as there are many lovely people who will understand how you are feeling during this difficult time and it can just help to offload from time to time. If your Mum needs help around the home then (if you you are in the UK) contact social services who may be able to help with all sorts of equipment/aids to make caring just that little bit easier for you both. Jules54
Hey sorry have been busy looking after everyone trying to keep everyone happy..unfortunately found out on Friday cancer is defo in mums leg aww now..she was shocked &to hear it real hard hitting as she said herself,the injection se gets monthly we thought was stopping/slowing spread down..aww im trying to put on good front in front of her havent had time to take it in really have been with her most days since.then seeing her cry friday night was heart breaking.but we gotta get through this one day at a time!
Me personally dont deal to well i use to self harm years ago&since mums started to get worse i am doing it more often it helps me le my emotions out&see physical pain..i know it not way to cope but really helps.am going to counsellor for it.aww now.
So sorry to hear about your predicament. I'm not great on emotional advice but on the practical side make sure your Mum is getting all the help and support she needs from the NHS and MacMillan. MacMillan in particular will be able to point you in the right direction for other types of support. Take my advice and accept as much help as is offered and try not to do everything yourself. We went through something similar with my Mum a few years ago and even with a large immediate family we found we needed all the practical help we could get.
Glad to hear that you are being counselled to help support you with your self-harming issues.
Sad to read the news about your Mum and you are doing really well in being there for her and those around you. You do need to look after yourself too (know how hard that is!) as your Mum will fret so knowing you are hurting yourself(even if you are endeavouring to hide it from others around you). Its good that you have counsellor in place and hope you have your GP's support with this too. Please ask for the extra support your Mum. you and the family need at this time and if it would help give the Nurses on this forum a ring (freephone from UK landlines on usual working days 9-5) as they mey be able to help with some more suggestions/advice. It really is a a time to be kind to yourself when time allows.Jules
