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Mum passed away-heartbroken

19 Mar 2018 10:05

Mum passed away on 7th March after the bravest 2 year battle against oesophageal cancer. We were waiting for the results of a scan to determine the next course of treatment so, even though she was very weak and had been in bed for about a month, there had been no terminal diagnosis so it came as an unbelievable shock. I visited her every morning before work to give her her breakfast and on Wednesday 7th March found her dead in her bed. She had all this blood coming out of her nose.  The doctor said she’d had a gastrointestinal haemorrhage, as a result of the cancer. I can’t get that image out of my head and I feel I let her down. She lived alone so died alone. I’ll never know if she suffered or if it was quick. Her funeral was on Saturday and I still cry every day, a few times a day. I don’t know when I’ll be ready to go back to work. My husband and 5-year old daughter get me through every day. I just wondered if anyone has been through a similar experience?

Mum passed away-heartbroken

19 Mar 2018 10:13 in response to Heyjude
I’m so awfully sorry to hear that this happened to you. Fortunately I can say that I have never experienced this however, my Aunt passed away in July and that was the same cause of death. I’m sure that had you been there that there was nothing you could have done.

Mum passed away-heartbroken

19 Mar 2018 10:24 in response to Heyjude

Hi there hunny ... please be kind to your heart ... we all think could we have done more ... or something differently ... but this is real life and with it comes all those things like housework shopping being a mum and all that entails while doing a job too, yet you still saw your mum each morning  ... unfortunately we r not like "super woman"  who can flash through time ... 

Try not to focus on the last time you saw her ... just close your eyes and picture her at her best in a time she was really happy and smiling ... take time to live every second ... remember how she looked, what she said ... how you feel looking at her .. do this over and over till her last picture is replaced by the happy memories .. till it brings a smile instead of those thoughts your mum wouldn't want you to remember ..

What would she say if she could say something now ... I know the three words my mum would say to me .. l love you ... and you know crying is good, but it's all about taking time to have all those feelings, cry, scream, yell at life and how unfare it is ... then know your mum would say , enough now ... time for normal things too ... my mum loved to see us laugh, at silly things, so I picture every time me or my lads are laughing at things, she looks over us with a smile ...

So from one daughter to another who were blessed with lovely mum's ... don't cry because you loose someone.... smile because you were blessed to have had them in your life ... (it's an old Buddhist saying) 

Big hug Chrissie ❤