Together we will beat cancer


Mum newly diagnosed and I'm not coping very well

15 Sep 2019 12:01


I am new to the group and have come for advice and support really.

My 78 yr old mum has just been diagnosed with Lung cancer. They cannot stage it or even say 100% cancer because they say she is too frail to biopsy or treat, but they are as sure as they can be without all the tests. The scan showed a 4.7 cm and a 1.2cm mass on her right lung, some swelling on the lymph nodes and a little fluid at bottom of lung. She has smoked all her life and her main symptoms were hacking persistent cough and weight loss. She is disabled with a twisted spine and strugles to walk very far.

I am on autopilot and don't know what to do. She lives 1.5 hours away from me and her only support is my stepdad, who is elderly but able bodied. I am all she has apart form this. I have a 12 yr old who is going through an autism assessment at the moment and struggling at school. I also work full time and cannot afford to stop working as I need to pay my mortgage. I also have a pressurised and responsible job. 

I don't even know why Im posting to be honest, I just need to talk to someone. I don't know who to turn to or how to help mum. she is my best friend and my head is spinning. 

Sorry, I dont even know what to say. I am trying not to make it all about me and stay supportive for her but I can't stop crying

Mum newly diagnosed and I'm not coping very well

15 Sep 2019 12:38 in response to liliC

Hi lilic welcome you'd be surprised how many come to the forum just like you have, some to rant and let off steam others not sure what's best thing to do, for relatives or them selves, not always, but sometimes macmillan can help with information on money problems, or try explaining it to your mortgage lender, sometimes they'll make an exception, to help you out, try not to worry to much (I know it's hard) try to find a solution carefully, good luck and best wishes.. Billy