Hello

Its almost a year since we lost our lovely Mum to this dreadful cancer. Mum was diagnosed 2nd Jan 2018 with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer and died on 31st January 2018. It has been the most painful thing I have ever experienced and it happended so fast. We had to watch Mum fade away and all we could do was hold her hand. Mum stopped eating on 21st January, lost her mobility but Mum was still able to talk to us up until day before she died. Mum had syringe drive on 19th Jan for pain, anti-sickness and terminal agitation. Mum was distressed that she could no longer walk to the bathrooom. Mums wish was to die at home so me and my sister took care of Mum with help from GP, MacMillan. The speed of everything was completley overwhelming. Take care

I am so sorry for your loss. 

It seems very similar to my mum. She hasn't eaten a single thing for three weeks now. She can no longer get out of bed. She has a syringe drive for pain and is on oxygen. They fitted her with a catheter on Tuesday as she was no longer strong even to get up.

I feel so helpless. Mum calls it the monster inside her and she is so right.

It is also mums wish to die at home. It's so hard sitting by her bedside feeling completely helpless. Apart from the nurses coming in mum doesn't want any helpers so we are doing it all which is an absolute honour to care for her but also its so difficult. 

Mum's only 61 and it just seems so cruel and unfair. 

Hello, I am so very sorry to hear about your lovely mum. It is so cruel and not fair. 

I went through something similar with my boyfriend of 8 years.He was only 28 and we’d planned a future together. They would not even try a blood transfusion from one of his relatives as they said it wouldn’t work. But I felt how did they know 100% unless they tried and I felt very much like you said you do about your mum. 

I know nothing I can say will make a jot of difference but the way I tried to cope was basically try everything. Contact specialists and ask if they can do anything. Ask the doctors anything and everything you can think of. You will know the answer to that as I did but at least you will be able to look back and think “I have done everything I can for my loved one”. Personally, i think feeling that now helps such a massive lot. 

In the meantime keep a very close network of best friends near. They are so helpful. Particularly those that are non-judgemental and you know you can tell them anything.

anyway, if you want to talk or ask any questions then go ahead.

Best wishes 

Hi 

i have read your post and felt I really needed to reply. 

My dad was diagnosed at the start of November with this cancer and unfortunately he past away late December.i am in bits and feel completely shocked at how quick everything happened and how much I miss him. The thing I’ve learnt with pancreatic cancer is that it’s got the worse survival rates because it’s so aggressive most doctors horrifically don’t bother offering treatment because  the cancer of the pancreas is so bad. I spent hours reading articles , ringing hospitals ect. ANd it breaks my heart but at the moment there’s not much hope if your diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and cannot have surgery it’s all pain control until the very end. 

I’m still in shock now.  

Do message me if you need anyone to talk to as this has only just recently happened for me and if I can be of any help I will be.