Hi, im new here. I look after and care for my mum, working full time also. Mum has lung cancer but Doctor said cannot give timescale as dont know how long it has been there. It was early stage as they offered radical radiotherapy but mum refused as shes in late 80s amd felt she could not cope with the side affects, and opted for quality of life remaining. Diagnosed in August 2017, slowly getting worse over the months but still having good days. Im finding it hard as mum keeps making comment 'if im still here' when talking about the future. Some days are ok, some not good. Some days she copes with on the medication and other days she needs more. Im trying to look for signs of change but im not sure what to look for? She gets tired easily, she seems to be suffering with stiff ankles when getting up in the morning, not sure if this is relevant? Her appetitie is up and down and there have been episodes of incontinence. I go to work, but dont want to be there, just want to be home looking after mum. Some days i feel like ive done a good job and shes doing ok and other days i feel like a faliure and im making things worse. I feel selfish for feeling this way. I worry about work and time off. Ive read some of the entries on here and have decided i will go off sick at some point to be home more but how will i know when to?
