Hello Louise94; so sorry to learn of your mum being so ill.  Do you have any nurses coming in to give palliative care - they should be able to advise you what to do for the best in your mum's situation.  If not you could give MacMillan Cancer Support a ring - they could give you active help and could certainly give you advice.  They can be contacted on Freefone 0808 808 0000 Mon-Fri 8am-5pm (they don't work Bank Holidays or so I believe).  I am also attaching some information from this website which I hope will be  of use to you.  My best wishes.  Annie

about-cancer.cancerresearchuk.org/.../caring-for-the-carer

Thank you for your reply . We have spa nurses coming tomorrow as an urgent assessment until social services are involved . She has become so weak and is barely eating anything . I have spoken to a palliative care nurse who has explained that this is all deterioration of the disease and things will probably progress quickly now . I am just so sad and really can’t believe it all x

Hello again.  It does sound like your mum's body is beginning to close down; it  is difficult to know how long your mum has; having read so many sad stories here sometimes people can go on in your mum's condition for longer than expected while others - who do not appear so very ill - can die suddenly without too much obvious deterioration.   Very sad for you but at least you understand a bit more about what is happening.  You can just spend time with your mum, talking to her even if she is too weak to respond and make her realise she is surrounded by love. If she cannot drink you could try moistening her lips so she is more comfortable.   Look after yourself too.  Annie

Thank you again . We have carers stating on tue. A hospital bed is being delivered as well . Mum is hardly eating as no appetite but seems to drink plenty . He weakness gets worse daily and she sleeps alot as well . It just seems so unfair . X

A lot has changed in a week . Since the carers started Mum has deteriated so quickly . She has now been unresponsive for 37 hours and we have have numerous visits from the nurses to administer morphine and midazalam to keep Mum comfortable. They have sat up a syringe driver to give her a steady flow of meds . We have been awake for the full 37 hours watching Mum as her breathing is laboured and she is having sessions of forgetting to breath . We are heartbroken to say the least to see Mum and know she is going through this and it’s been such a long time . We don’t know how long this will last x 

Oh Louise, I'm sooo sorry. I know how painful and horrible this is. I went through it just three weeks ago! My mother started the strange breathing pattern where she would suddenly stop breathing and then start again, a day or two before she passed. My mother was only on the syringe driver for about 24 hours before she passed. 

At least they are very comfortable. It's us who suffer through it more I think. You are very strong to be staying with your mom through all of this. The doctors told my sister that even if they are not responsive they might still be able to hear us. 

Stay strong.

I am sorry to say my mum passed away on Tuesday after a long 48hr struggle . We were all by her side til the end and she did pass peacefully .... eventually. She was such a strong woman and gave up such a fight . The district nurses were amazing as we we always calling them in to make Mum more comfortable and they brilliant x they helped Mum so much and us as well as it was such a long 48hrs ( with an hours sleep ) . Mums passing was awful to watch but she is now at peace x 

I am sorry you have lost your mum but you must be glad she is no longer suffering.  Very difficult for you; be kind on yourself and take each day as it comes.  You will always know that you did everything you could to help your mum through this which, while very difficult for you, was what your mum needed.  So pleased the district nurses were a great help.    Please do keep posting here during the hard days to come.  Annie

I'm so sorry your mum has passed. That was really amazing of you to stay with her the entire time. I'm so glad that you had a good team around you to make sure your mom was as comfortable as possible. Wishing you all the strength and courage moving forward in these early days.