Hi there,

im so sorry to hear your news. I sadly lost my amazing dad 7 weeks ago and he was only 58. We had a very short battle with cancer. My dad was the same and became confused - something I found hard to deal with as felt he lost his identity and I lost my dad before he passed away. I found it comforting to talk to him like normal through and even when he couldn't understand due to confusion I just chatted nonsense which seemed to work for us. 

Since my dad passed away I have suffered from anxiety and have times when I can't leave the house or struggle to walk around the shop without freaking out. I would say from talking to people that this is really normal. Just take your time, do things such as taking time out, listening to music or going for a short walk to get some air. Try and talk to people too - more than welcome to message me. I found doing these things really helped me through and still do.

Remember you are not alone, you are doing so so well and being a young person myself I understand how losing a parent at this age is just so hard.

Your doing an amazing job.

take care xx

Hi,

I'm so sorry to hear this, I'm 23 currently, I lost my Dad when I was 16 from colon cancer and currently caring for my mum who has AML and in last few weeks of life. It's a horrible thing to go through for everyone. Feels so cruel to lose parents so young. The best advice I can give is don't be too hard on yourself. You will have good and bad days, and don't be afraid to ask for help. I was stupid after I lost dad and didn't give myself time. I tried to carry on and I shouldn't have. Fear I might do the same again as work in the NHS and feel so guilty not working at the moment. It's nice to find people of a similar to me. I haven't met or heard of anyone I know that's been through such a loss at a young age. 

Always happy to chat, I feel I need it too! Most importantly be proud of how strong you are for going through this.  

Hi there,

Please don't feel guilty about work. I too work for the NHS and I have an extremely supportive manager. I took two months off to care for my dad but he passed after 2 weeks diagnosis. I still took the two months as I needed it. My manager said to me that if I can't think of caring about anyone else but my dad then I cant look after others and it's so true. I have gone back to work now to make dad proud but its tough. Nursing demands every aspect of you.

Sending all my thoughts to you both xx

Thank you both for your lovely replies. I'm really sorry for both of you- it seems really unfair that we are losing parents at this age when others still have their parents and grandparents around. 
 

I've been working (from home) and feel guilty about taking time off as it is not a particularly stressful job compared to what you both do! But I feel based on your advice that I should. 

If you're happy to, would love to keep in touch so please do send me a private message if either of you feel like it. 
 

It really does feel so unfair. I feel we have been drawn an unfair card and just wish I could find out why.

No matter how stressful or non stressful your job is, look after yourself. I used to tell patients families that you only get one chance to look after a loved one and give them the best care and it's so true. You also need time to care for yourself. 

Feel free to message at anytime. X

Hi, 

I am so sorry to hear of your situation, I can completely empathise. I have found myself in an very similar situation and as a family we are managing end of life stage. 
 

Not sure about you but with it also being Christmas things seem even more emotional and unfair. 
 

I am really keen to create some positive support network for people our age, I have found some great Instagram accounts for grief and bereavement which when I feel able too I spend time reading. I am hoping I am able to create something similar to help myself and others. 

I sometimes feel so alone in this big "why is?" World but I would be really keen to support someone who genuinely understands our situation. 
 

Sending you and your family all the best, 

T x 

Hi T,

My mum passed away on the 6th of December. The last few weeks have been extremely difficult. 
 

I'd definitely be interested in some kind of group. I am in Ireland so it is particularly hard to find support groups with young people in their twenties. 
 

If you want help setting up the group, please let me know. Would love to be involved! 

 

Hello,

Firstly, I'm extremely sorry to hear this. It sounds very similar to my situation except from my mum has breast cancer with weeks left. I'm also a similar age (24) and my mum is in her 50s. Im very close to my mum as we are a small family so I can totally relate to you.

Feel free to send me a message if you want anyone to talk to/ support! Xx

Hi Sarah, 

I'm really sorry to hear about your mum. I know exactly what you're going through. The last few weeks are definitely a tough time for everyone. 
 

I've just sent you a frequent request so would be great to chat privately! I've been talking to a few others on here and it definitely helps to speak to people of similar age. 
 

Hopefully talk soon! x 

Hi,

I am 26 and lost my dad to metastatic lung cancer in October after only being diagnosed in August. 
 

things have been very tough for me and I suffered from anxiety before dad got ill and now I'm worse, I've also developed a health anxiety. 
 

your family and friends will be your support, I remember after dad passed I didn't wash for 3 days or change my clothes - we all have different ways of coping but i would recommend an essential oil burner and some yoga. Breathing exercises will also help you. 

you are not alone, your GP will also be able to help you and maybe refer you onto cbt 

xx