Hello ChatduPape and welcome to the forum.  This is an impossible situation for you; it would be hard enough if everything was clearcut but the different prognoses makes it so much harder for you to plan what needs to be done and what conceivably can be done.  I would seek out a meeting with the oncologist caring for your mum.  It is of course very difficult for even the most experienced doctor to give a definite idea of the cancer's progression - having been involved in the care of several people with similar diagnosis (diagnoses?  diagnosises?) I have seen how unexpected the different progression of their illnesses can be.  All you have to go on is your gut feeling and your percepion of how your mum is doing.  Does your mum need to be in the hospital?  Is it possible for her to receive care at home - I realise that this can be difficult and stressful in itself.  Wherever she is receiving care she should not be suffering the pain you describe - this is also something that needs to be addressed with the medical staff.    Would hospice care be appropriate at some time soon - you say that he condition has been deteriorating quickly.  I am really just throwing out subjects which I feel would be useful to address in order that (a) your mum is comfortable with what is wanted; (b) everyone is singing from the same hymn sheet (as the saying goes) and the medical staff are aware of your worries and that you understand their position.    I hope my writing in this way does not sound too cold and organisational - I realise how terrible a situation you are all facing.    I have cared for neighbours and friends who were being cared for at home - as long as you have good back-up for nurses who will visit  as much as is needed and also have good access to the doctor this can work well for everyone. You should be provided with all the necessary equipment.  But of course everyone's circumstances are different.  Don't know if this helps at all but I hope at least something is of some use.  Best wishes.  Annie