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Mum died of cancer 2 weeks ago

5 Dec 2017 22:05

I have such a deep sadness since my mum passed.. feel like I'm bleeding everywhere but no one can see the blood .

So my mum got diagnosed on the 18th of July with pancreatic cancer it was my 30th birthday the day she was diagnosed.... me and my sister and my dad nursed her and looked after her the best we could but on the 9th of November she was sick alot of blood and rushed to hospital.  I was with her all day on the 10th the day she passed away is a day I keep reliving over and over.. I went with her to have an endoscopy to check what was happening and her tumour had spread and ruptured . After the endoscopy I stroked her head as she slept and cryed but then she worsend and the next few hours were what I can only describe as horrific .

I have two young children and I'm trying to be strong for them but I feel so weak and so sad I just miss my mum ever second of everyday it consumes me and I don't know what to do .

Feels like now the funeral has been and gone I just have to get on with it .. but I feel robbed of my mum she was only 58 and I'm only 30 I just want her back

Re: Mum died of cancer 2 weeks ago

6 Dec 2017 16:13 in response to Ldk30

Hello and welcome to the forum.

Thanks for sharing your Mum's tragic story with us. That must have been a horrible experience for her, you and your family.

I wish I could offer some useful advice, but grief is such a personal experience which affects us all so very differently and there is no right or wrong way to get through it or a standard timescale by the end of which life carries on. 

Time doesn't really heal but somehow the grief does almost always seem to become more bearable. 

 

Best wishes

Dave

 

 

Re: Mum died of cancer 2 weeks ago

6 Dec 2017 23:07 in response to Ldk30

Hi Ldk30,

 

im so so sorry for the hurt and despair you are going through right now.

Have you been to your mum's graveside? I find it really helps me. Take a magazine with you and when you have a few hours spare sit beside her and just talk to her (if you can). Just spend some time sitting by her graveside and flick through the magazine if you need/want to.

 

I find spending time at the graveside of my brother really helps me. There's a serene beauty about the place and it calms my heavy chest.

Afterwards do something for yourself (maybe a facial)?

I know this isn't conventional advice but it's what has helped me in the past - a hot drink always helps as well.

message me if you would like to stay in touch or just want to get things off your chest.

take care of yourself

mari

 

Re: Mum died of cancer 2 weeks ago

7 Dec 2017 00:17 in response to Ldk30
Hi I am new to this but I saw your story and felt I wanted to write back to you. I am so so sorry for your loss. I also lost my mum in August this year. We lost her to secondary breast cancer, within 8 weeks we lost her. She was only 55. I have a 5 year old daughter and have just found out that we are expecting our second child. I to am 30 and feel to young to not have my mum around. I miss her so much and cant bare the thought of her not being here. I have my crys, talk to my family and friends and try my best to think of my mum and what she would be saying to me. I visit her a lot at the cemetery and talk to her. I find this helps me a little. Take care Vicky