Hi everyone,

I wish I wasn't here writing this post but here I am. I need someone to talk to.

My mum was diagnosed with SCLC last June 2017. It was limited as it was just contained within the lung. She underwent chemo and then chest radiation. All successful, reducing the cancer in size and it was retained. 

Chemo was a breeze compared to radiotherapy. She could eat after rad and it really wiped her out. But it did what it needed to do. All she needed then was check ups and scans every 3 months. Her hair grew back and she was doing well.

Until a few weeks ago.

We thought it was just stress as my grandad was in and out of hospital. She complained of being tired and getting headaches more frequently. Then one day she took a trip out to a car garage and her feet went from under her. She collapsed. Just days before her next CT scan check.

So we head for her scan... Neck down. And requested a full scan including head due to the recent symptoms and the collapse/faint. 

Brain mets. One lesion to the front right lobe. It was a hollow shape with a shadow around it which is edema - the swelling causing those symptoms. The one place we did not want this horrific cancer to get to. 

I live 2.5 hours from mum so I feel helpless but work have given me compassionate leave and letting me take my laptop to work from home as needed. I came home this weekend to get a few things and will return to her tomorrow, ready for her appointment to take a look at the MRI result (we went on Thursday for that)... 

I'm terrified for the prognosis. I know he will advise how much time she has left. I can't prepare myself for this. I suffer from anxiety and I'm just trying to be strong but know I'm going to have a meltdown. 

She is getting progressively worse with her confusion and leaving  things and forgetting them. I'm constantly worrying and on edge and feeling sick to the stomach.

Any words of wisdom, comfort and advice is greatly appreciated.

Thank you

Jodie