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Leegoodmrs
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This is my first time on here and I desperately need advice my mum was diagnosed April this year with lung cancer I've been caring for my mum and my dad whom is not healthy himself and unable to care fully for my mum as his hands legs ect dont work I've been practically living at my parents home and missing my own family not that I mind at all my mum and dad need me I've been sleeping on a blow up mattress on the floor next to my mum and my dad goes to bed as he isn't able to stay up all night caring for her I'm there all day 24/7 my mum begged me not to put her into a home and im keeping that promise unfortunately recently her cancer got so bad she was in so much pain she was on so much medication and it wasn't working to it's best abilities I was persuaded to take my mum into a hospice so they could try all different ways to improve the pain I slept in the chair next to her bed for 3 days and nights I was then told there wasn't anymore they could do and she has not got long I found it heartbreaking having to tell the rest of my family I don't seem to have anyone to speak about this as I feel it's on my shoulders the responsibility rests as I'm the eldest and the only daughter (only one brother says he appreciates everything I do but the other doesn't show anything) knew she wants to be at home so I organised it for her to come back home I've tried talking to my dad about the situation and that things are going to get worse rather than better (I never cry in front of my parents) since we have returned home my mum has started to become so confused and mixed up and today she started getting very angry and very verbally aggressive towards me and dad dad then gets angry huffing and puffing and slamming doors I'm so depressed with my own pain with my own health issues of which I've ignored my own health for months to put my parents first but its breaking my heart and wearing me down with both of them I want to run away and sob profusely but I know I cant mum hasn't got long I have not been given a time frame other than not long I'm sorry for ranting 

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    So sorry to hear about your mum, there will be more people on here that will be able to help more than I can. I would have thought you would be able to get support for your mum and dad's situation. Have you contacted Macmillan? Can the local authority help with regards to carers? You really shouldnt have to be doing this by yourself. 

    Hopefully others will come and offer advice x

  • Offline in reply to Magpiemaggie

    We have carers in morning and afternoon to help clean mum and as its end of life we have an in home carer started last night so I can now go home at night after 8pm when she takes over I'm back up at 8 am when she needs to go to bed but it's the in between my dad isn't coping and it just so hard having to cope with both of them I feel so guilty that I want to get home but its hurting so much 

  • Offline in reply to Leegoodmrs

    Glad you're getting some help - dont beat yourself up, you've no reason to feel guilty, quite the opposite, you deserve a medal for what you've done for your parents. Its really important that you look after yourself and to do that you need some respite, otherwise you can become ill and where will your parents be then? I would be really angry if my siblings didnt help with my mother, could you perhaps talk to them about doing more? its realy unfair to put all of this on you.xx

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