My mum has recently been diagnosed with lung cancer ...know how u feel :(

Hi Kelly,

I am sorry that you find yourself in a position where you have to contact us, but I wish you a very warm welcome to Cancer Chat nonetheless.

My mum had breast cancer for 12 years before it metastasised to her lungs, liver, bones and brain, so I have a good idea of just how bereft you feel at the moment.  I presume that the tests that your mum has had will be to determine exactly what type and stage of lung cancer she has and what can be done to help her. Are you an only daughter or do you have other siblings?

Try not to go into a blind panic. The main thing that you need to do at present is to support your mum. She will probably be quite frightened at all that is going on. Fear of the unknown plays a big part in a cancer diagnosis. As she progresses further along her cancer journey, she will get to know more about it and it will become less daunting to manage. It is always helpful to have someone to accompany her to her hospital visits and it is useful to write down a list of questions for each visit. It can also be helpful if the person accompanying her writes down the consultant’s replies, we only retain a small amount of what is said at such times and have forgotten most of it before we leave the hospital grounds.

It is not easy to accept a diagnosis like this. You will probably find that your mum cries a lot at the moment. Her emotions may be all over the place too, so try to be understanding and don’t take too much of what she says to heart. I’m sure that you have shed a few tears too. This is not a bad thing. In fact, it is a good release valve for all this stress, so let the tears flow.

Instead of dwelling on the bigger picture, it can be helpful to deal with matters in bite sized pieces. Take matters day-by-day or even hour-by-hour if need be. Try and put a more positive attitude to this diagnosis In place. Yes, your mum’s days may be numbered, but there is no reason, why you can’t make them as happy and memorable as you possibly can. This will help you both in the long run.

Please let us know how you get on next week. We are always here for you whenever you want to talk.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Beee,

I am so sorry to hear that you are in the same predicament as Kelly.

This is a difficult time for you all, as cancer does not just affect the patient but their entire family. My advice to you is the same as I have given Kelly above.

Have you been given any staging yet or discussed treatment options?

I am thinking of you both and am always here for you if you need a chat.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi thank you so much for the welcome and reply your words are very much appreciated 

yes the tests are exactly that they think she's already got a secondary tumour or cancer I can't really remember how they worded it in her spine as she is having pain and a lump has formed. It really is fear of the unknown I am struggling with as they have already said they can't cure it but its treatable so I don't really know what to think.

i have an older brother and a sister in law who I see as my sister we are very close the main thing that upsets me is how scared she must be but I haven't seen her cry although my dad tells me she has I on the other hand have cried every day but I know I just need to go through the motions. 

Thank yoh again for the reply I really feel this will help me in the months to come 

x 

Hi Kelly,

It's been a while since I last contacted you and I was just wondering how you are getting on?

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Beee,

I am just catching up on people I haven't heard from for a while and am wondering how you and your Mum are coping?

Kind regards,

Jolaminexx