Hi Anxious,

My Mum had this problem towards the end of her cancer journey. The doctor prescribed an anti-fungal spray which helped a little.

If you use the search engine on the blue band at the top of this page and insert your key words, this will bring up some previous posts on this topic. I'm sure that you will find some of the suggestions there useful. Have you had a chat with his care team? They are usually pretty good at giving dietary advice, normally in advance of treatment, or they can refer you to a dietician.

I do hope that you manage to find some food that he can manage.

Please keep in touch and let us know how he gets on. There is always someone here for you whenever you feel like talking.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx 

Hi Jolamine, 

Thanks so much for your reply and kind words. I will have a look around with the search function as you suggested. 

He does actually have a dietician who has said not to worry about what he eats at the moment and to eat whatever he is able to.  That said though, he has been given a powdered dietary supplement  (can't remember what it's called atm) to replace meals as needed, but he's not very fond of it and is quite adamant about not using it most of the time. 

Perhaps I need to chat with the dietician myself to work on finding appropriate foods. 

Thanks again Jolamine, off to search for similar threads. Everyone here is so helpful and kind, its much appreciated. 

- T

Hi Anxious,

Some of these supplements and drinks taste pretty awful, even to those who are fit as a flea. Perhaps he might be able to manage some of the build up drinks available on prescription? It is usually a case of trying a few different ones to find something that you husband finds palatable. Your dietician should be able to arrange this.

It sounds to me as if you would be better discussing things with the dietician yourself, as your partner probably doesn't know just how difficult you are finding it to cater for him.

I do hope that you find some solutions to this dilemma.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hello

Have you thought about soup/smoothies and using a straw?  This may bypass the discomfort in his mouth?

Good luck

Ruth x

Hi Jolamine, 

You're right, these powdered drinks are quite awful; I definitely don't like it. Will definitely have a chat with the dietician re different ones and some more meal ideas. Think we're starting to get somewhere with it, but am finding it difficult to keep preparing soups and soft foods and not have him feel as though I'm catering to him as he does tend to get stubborn about life continuing on as 'normal' - which is a little detrimental to his comfort at times, but important for his mental health. 

And to Susan, 

Yeah we have been doing lots of soups and smoothies. He's reluctant to use a straw as it makes him feel 'useless' but it does help when it's particularly uncomfortable. 

Thank you both so much for the suggestions. Will definitely be utilizing them! 

- T x

Oh goodness Ruth, my head was in the clouds and I called you Susan I'm sorry. How rude of me, I do apologize!  - T

Ha, don't worry, My given name is Susan Ruth, but everyone calls me Ruth. I answer to either

Ruth (aka Susan) x

Hi Anxious,

Maybe it's time for the two of you to have a heart to heart about where you're at? I'm sure that he would do his best for you if the shoe was on the other foot.

Explain to him that you're all for carrying on as normal as possible, but 'possible' is the key word here. You need to do 'normal with a twist' on occasions, to enable him to stay strong and able to remain normal.

Do you have a freezer? I tend to make different batches of soups and pop them in the freezer. IF you divide the soup into 1 or 2 servings per box, it doesn't take long to defrost.

If you are cooking everything fresh you will find that, after all your preparation, he doesn't feel like whatever you have just gone to the bother of cooking. It is so much easier to give him the choice and then to heat it up - you don't feel quite so put upon either. It is really frustrating to go to all the bother of cooking something only to have it rejected. He may look on these frozen offerings as normal because you are not slaving away in the kitchen for hours beforehand. You can claim to be making batches for your convenience instead. It is so difficult to live life as normal without it being detrimental to his health at times, His mental health is so important for fighting this disease.

Is he still having chemo? Tell the nurses that his anti-nausea tablets are not working. There are several others which may do the job instead. I hope that the dietician can help out with dietary suggestions. When you say you are giving him 'soft foods' what sort of things are you preparing? My Mum lived on lightly scrambled eggs and homemade soups when she had her ulcers. We had to be careful with the amount of salt in food though as too much irritated her ulcers. I hope that she dietician can also help with the buildup drinks.

Thinking of you both

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine,

It really is quite the balancing act between 'normal' and the changes that really do need to be made. I'm finding that as long as I think carefully about things and come up with an alternative reason for something needing to be different,  even if it's completely transparent, he appreciates it and is more accepting. I will definitely be using your wonderful idea of freezing meals and using my convenience as an excuse. 

As to what I'm cooking, its been mostly different types of homemade soup and slow cooked casserole (as requested) when I cook, but honestly, until today it's been a battle to even get him to surrender the kitchen. Stubborn as a mule, but too tired to cook anything that he can actually eat (he tackled chops, pizza and /nachos/ last week, the latter two he would never usually even consider, and of course wasn't able to eat them). 

I do like the eggs idea and will add those to my list of possibilities. 

He's on an 'off' period for chemo but still has more to come. I'm hoping that the time between helps or that something can be changed. Will suggest he asks for different anti-nausea medication though, great suggestion. The thought didn't actually even cross my mind. 

Thank you so much for your suggestions and support,  it's such a comfort. 

Hi Ruth,

Thanks for the understanding! 

Thanks again,  -T xx