Mother in law has terminal cancer. Given days to live.

What it says in title really. Mother in law has been in hospital past month, recently found out she has cancer and yesterday found out it's terminal, she's been given days to live. Trying my best to look out for my husband and daughter. I've been in this position myself, where I've lost both my parents in under a year, and it's toughened me up. It's hard to watch, now shoe is on other foot.  I managed to see MIL for 5 mins today  She was alert, but she's aware she is dying. I'm heartbroken for my husband and his family.  His dad wants her to recieve paliative care at home. 

 

I've got my daughter's school in the loop to keep an eye on her, to help support my daughter. I'm trying to be as supportive to my husband and daughter as much as I can. It's so hard to watch. 

  • Welcome to Cancer Chat EG1981 although I'm very sorry for the news your mother in law has been given. I can't begin to imagine how tough this must be for you all.

    I know there isn't much I can say that can make this situation any better but I just wanted to let you know we're all thinking of you and sending our strength and support to you and your family at this difficult time.

    I hope this information we have on getting help and support at home will prove useful but if there is anything you'd like to discuss in more detail with one of our cancer nurses, they'll be available tomorrow on 0808 800 4040 between 9a.m - 5p.m (phone lines are open Monday - Friday).

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  •  

    Hi there,

    I am so sorry to hear of your current situation. I have been in your position and know just how hard it is. All you can do is to support your father-in-law, husband and daughter as best you can.

    It is a huge undertaking to give someone palliative care at home. Is your father-in-law fit enough to see this through? You can get carers coming in to attend to personal needs, which is a help. Arrangements can also be made for someone to come in at night to give the family a chance to sleep. You should also be able to get a hospital bed at home, which will make her more comfortable and her care so much easier.

    Please discuss this with the hospital staff, as they can help to arrange this if necessary. It is never easy to watch a loved one failing and, there comes a time when we need to decide if they are fit enough to travel home. If you say that she only has days, this may not be possible.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and I am always here if you want to talk.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx