Hi Lavender33, 

Welcome to the forum and I'm sorry to hear the news about your Mother in Law. It's understandably a difficult time for you all. 

Sometimes "just" being there for someone is exactly the right thing to do. I'm sure that your husband will find comfort in knowing that you're there if he needs to talk to someone about how he's feeling.  Don't feel that you have to "do more" or "fix things" - just carry on being there for him and letting him know that if he needs to talk or let the brave face slide for a while then that's ok. 

It's possible that with your baby on the way that he may feel that he doesn't want to add to your pressures by talking about his Mum. You're worried about not adding to his worries, he's worried about not adding to yours and soon you're so worried about not worrying each other that you stop talking about the important things :) 

I'm not sure in what ways your Mum in law is struggling at the moment but it sounds like she possibly would like to keep her independence for as long as possible. Again, just let her know that you're there for her if she needs anything. It may be that there are things you can do quietly in the background for her, something she may not ask you to do but would appreciate it if the task mysteriously was done. 

We do have some information on our website about coping emotionally which may be of interest to you or if you'd like to chat with someone about things then please do give our team of nurses a call. They're available on 0808 800 4040 (Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm). 

Sending best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator