I'm seventeen years old, currently in the middle of studying for A levels and recently found out my mother has lung cancer. I'm lost, devastated to say the least. My mother is my best friend, she means everything to me and I really don't know how to cope with the thought of losing her. The doctors can't really do much but try to keep the cancer at bay with chemo and thinking about losing her makes me feel sick, I don't think I've ever been this scared. Around her, I try to be strong, we're practically the same person and a coping mechanism for the both of us is sarcasm, inappropriate jokes but alone I can only panic, I can't help but think about the future, a future which I probably won't get to spend with her and it sends me into a complete spiral of grief. I don't feel like I'd be able to carry on without my mum, she's my world, she's helped me with so much, she's the strongest person I've ever known. To see her become weaker and have to ask for help is a cruel reality I'm forced to accept. She tries to carefully mention how there isn't really a lot they can do, how serious this all is and whilst I reply with optimism in reality this is tearing me apart, I can't cope, I'm terrified, I can't lose her and I don't know how I could continue on if she passed.
