Oh bless ya... that's so cruel,  and I wish I had words to ease it but words won't come close to how I feel for you ... I get so angry at these rules and regulations every one has to go by ... years ago they wouldn't have thought twice ... but everyone puts it down to being sued for everything, so they have to stick to stupid rules .. when is common sense coming back, to replace tick charts .. 

You did all you could ... please don't feel bad, it's the dam system that let your mum be in pain ... all I can do is send you a huge great hug and at least she will never go through any more pain ... not that , that helps you at this moment in time  .. please take care of you now... be kind to your self ... thinking of you ... chrisie xx 

Hi I'm so sorry to hear this and not sure if you will see it but my mum has just passed yesterday and she went in such pain too, begging for help because of the pain in her stomach, she was diagnosed 8 wks prier with stomach cancer, the drs came, seen she was in pain and offered morphine patches and liquid, I'd asked for the syringe driver but because she could still swollow they said she didn't need it, the patch's didn't help or the liquid, she just kept crying saying she needed more pain killers, she was in total agony, managed to get them to come out again but she passed away about 5 min before they arrived, we were told the pain was that much that her brain shut down and that's why she passed, I am so upset with the way she passed, we were ready for the passing but not the agony, crying nd begging for the pain to stop, 

Dear Siltie8188, I'm so so sad that you have had to go through this. I can imagine how crushed you must be feeling - in this day and age for people to have to endure such pain is inhumane. It is three years for me now since I wrote about what happened to us and I have tried (and succeeded) to put the memories of that evening out of my head. Reading your post and re-reading my original entry reminds me of how hard it was but in reality I needed so much to forget this trauma in order to live that that is what I taught myself to do. I started the process by not really telling anyone else what happened- I feel like a coward for admitting this, but in all honesty I could not have faced causing others the trauma of knowing my mum's passing was so awful. I tried to bring my feelings to the attention of the care home, my brother spoke to them and explained our distress but at the time I let him deal with this. They assured us they would learn from our experience. For myself I have three sons who were 7. 11 and 14 at the time amd I knew that thinking too much about my mum's end could cause me to drown in sorrow and heartbreak which would not have been good for them. I'm not suggesting you do the same, just telling you what I had to do to cope with this deeply traumatic event.  I'm so so sorry that you are in this position and hope that you have support to help you come to terms with the end so that you can remember your mum and the love you shared. You didn't fail her. You may feel as I did that you let her down when she needed you but dealing with medical professionals at such an emotionally charged time in life can be impossible and frustrating. My father died 18 years ago yesterday, in a hospital intensive care bed, with all the medical support he might need around him but they couldn't save him. I have no reason to think that if my mum had been in hospital things would have been any better for her.