I am so sorry to hear your father passed away. Our sincere condolences from all of us at Cancer Chat.
I have just read your About Me and wanted to reassure that you are welcome to use this site even if you don't live in the UK. It's for everyone really to connect and share experiences. It does help sometimes to talk to someone else who has also lost a loved one. And wherever you live in the world, the experience of grieving a loved one is sadly very much the same.
We have some information on our site on how to cope with grief. Obviously this doesn't replace talking to someone about your feelings and I hope this site will be of great help to you, that you can come here at any time of the day and night. So many people here have also lost a loved one, whether it is a father, a partner, a relative, a friend and I am sure they will be along soon to share their story with you.
Very best wishes and a big welcome to Cancer Chat,
it doesnt get easier. I beat cancer only for my Mom to succumb to ovarian cancer years 4 years later. ok she was 83 but up until then was very fit, active and lively. its so hard without her. We last Dad when he was 64! lung cancer
My father recently passed. January 22nd, he was 85 some health issues but nothing that wasn't controlled. To my surprise he died due2 Lung Cancer. I mean I'm at peace knowing he's not suffering & I want to believe in there is a place a higher power than what I know & that he is Good but I really miss him. I took care of him for about 8yrs. I'm just glad I did it. I guess I can't believe he's really not physically here & didn't have 2much time as far as saying goodbye well I think I didn't want2 say it but we learned he had cancer a Tuesday & passed that same week I brought him home Thursady & he passed Friday. Just don't know,people say it gets easier in time, I hope so. Thank U 4ur reply.
Thank U for welcoming me 2ur site. I guess it helps seeing all the stories of different stages of people's lives. Wether it's losing someone or a loved one being sick. I never imagined being in this position or speaking on my fathers death. Something so unexpected. Same week he passed we where informed he had Lung Cancer. We went in for a blood transfusion due2 him being anemic, which went good 1day then back2 the same the next. He had 7transfusions in a week the next week test where done 2figure out what the problem was & was when we where told it was Cancer. It's hard2 Believe how Cancer can take a Life in an instant. That said Thank U for the reply.
darling, i am in the same spot, is been only 3 weeks since dad left us for god, and i am struggling to cope, this was supposed to be the best year ever, as i am marrying the love of my life, i miss dad every day, sometimes i am ok somtimes i want to disappear, i went back to work after 6 days off, but i can barely manage! at home at night it gets worse, i see his pics and i really feel like i wanna talk to him, then i remember he is not here anymore and i loose it! i cant cope, but have not been able to find professionall support... hang in there lovely.... everyone says igt will get easier, although it does not feel like it, w time yo learn how to live with that pain but controlling it... i am sorry you lost your dad. same as i am so sorry i lost mine. if you need to chat let me know,
I'm sorry 2hear about ur father..yes it's so hard2 deal with I feel exactly as U Do..it's some what comforting knowing what I'm feeling is normal..well I mean that it's ok 2feel as I do and others are grieving the same..I understand all that U speak of..I Miss My Father every moment of everyday..just even the lil things..the talks..2feel him..his touch..just2 see him the home is not the same with out him here & thinking of all the moments ahead..it's going2 be my birthday soon(25th)& like a little girl I have cried of the thought it will be my 1rst bday with out my father..like every1 says we must move forward..but it sure isn't easy..We just have2 hold on 2the many memories we may have & Not 4get & that's kind of having them near..Thank U 4ur post/reply.
I am feeling really low, I lost my dad on valentines day. He was 4 weeks into radiotherapy and chemo after being diagnosed with cancer in December. He was having a few problems after his treatment so we took him into hospital on 10th Feb. the doctors said he would be home in a couple of days. I visited my dad each day. Saturday 13th we visited and all seemed fine. He phoned me later that evening to help out with his wi-fi as he was trying to watch tv on the iPad. We sorted it out and I said see you tomorrow. He phoned at 3.30pm the following day 14th saying he had been moved to a different ward. At 4.35 pm my mum called him to say we were setting off at 5pm, but there was no reply we thought he was asleep as he didn't answer. We arrived about 5.40 looking for the new ward. After finding the new ward and being directed to his bed we found him to be asleep. We couldn't wake him, I knew something was wrong. A nurse came over took his pulse and removed us from the ward. Then came the doctors and resus. It was so unreal like a nightmare. I've never been so scared in my life. We were left in a day room for nearly an hour to then be told he had died. This was so sudden and not expected. I can't come to terms with this and I am still in shock. We now have to wait for a postmortem as it was not expected . Please has anybody else been through this, we thought the treatment would help.
Sorry 4Ur loss..my father passed on January 22nd & honestly I'm still in disbelief he is gone..I that 1rst moment then was Good & again the couple last days I've been emotional all over again..like it happened yesterday..maybe knowing 2morrow marks a month which I can't believe..never was away from my father this long..iam 40 years old & my father passed at 85 years old..I do have2 Be Thankful I had these years with my father but doesn't make it easier..I Don't think any1 is ever ready..Or are we ever "prepared" 4any loss..or it would be easy..I don't know much about treatment..it being my father wasn't given that opportunity..it was detected 2late..he passed just days after the diagnosis..treatment I know is used & can Cure some or used 2prolong someone's Life..im at lost 4words 4U..I know the pain U as well as ur Family are feeling..U just need2 Love & Support each other through this difficult time.Sending My Love 2U & Ur Family.
I'm not surprised you're still in shock this does sound pretty unusual - it must have been completely traumatic
We don't know anything like enough to comment and I guess you'll have to wait and see what the post mortum says.
One thought that does cross my mind though is that my brother in law was out shopping with a close friend in his early 50s, a fit man who had no history of health problems. His friend said "I don't feel well" and collapsed and died before an ambulance could arrive. turned out he had a massive constriction to his hearts blood supply that had gone undiagnosed.
It strikes me that if, as we all know perfectly well people can suddenly and unexpectedly fall victim to fatal heart attacks and strokes etc it must happen that a few such events happen to people in hospital for unrelated conditions.
I guess it's most likely that it was related to his condition but you shouldn't rule out the possibility that it could have been something completely unrelated.
In any case I hope that you get good answers from the post mortum and that it helps give you some degree of closure.
