Oh hunny your going through so much ... We only have one mum and if we're lucky enough to have a wonderful mum of course we will miss them every day ...

I lost my mum to heart attack and had no time to say goodbye ... It's 27 years ago and although I have learned to live without her , I still miss her as much to day .... 

I believe they don't leave us .. they are just waiting for the time we join them again .. the thing that helped me was thinking how she would feel and what she would say to me .. her heart would brake if she saw me crying all the time and I know what she'd say "I love you" and I know if she saw me missing her, but living life to the fullest she'd be so proud ... 

I tell this to my grown sons and now I have my journey with cancer I tell them if I do go , I'll still watch over them and want to see them laughing about the good times ..

I'm thinking your mum will feel proud of you and want to see you smile too .. I still have times I have a little cry and that's normal but then I dry my eyes a look up to the sky and tell her all the things I would if she was here ... So big big hug .. your stronger then you think and braver then you know .. xx

Hi, 

It is a terrible thing to lose your mum, I actually think it is worse than any other bereavement, after all they are the reason you are there, the way you are is because of your mum's care and nurture. Went I lost my mum I felt desolate. Even now after nearly 6 years it still makes me cry. I see her everywhere disappearing out of the corner of my eye. I still talk to her as if she was here. I chat to her picture and I write her letters, I find that really helps, there is something about writing down what I feel and what I would like to tell her. I do hope you can find some comfort. Do not feel selfish or guilt, I am sure she knew how much you loved her. I had some terrible rows with my mum in my teenage years, but mums never stop loving their children no matter what they say or do, I know that now being a mum of four myself. I don't think the sadness and loss will ever get better, but it does get easier to bear, and  as you remember the fond memories you have and the special moments, the negative ones will fade from your memory and you can look back and smile. X

Hello, I also lost my mum to lung cancer on July the 31st. I have sent you a friend request as thought we could talk by private message? 

Maybe we could support each other? X

I also miss my mum too. She died Nov 2016. Miss her terribly -I even tried to phone her the other day and became so frustrated that the phone wouldn't connect. I just want to talk to her and laugh with her again about the silly small things. I miss her turning up with extra toilet rolls as it was buy 1 get 1 free and she thought I would like the free pack! But most of all I wish I would have too made her feel more special and loved. I think we just think they are invincible-I wish they were. I feel your pain. I try to hold my head high and carry on but feel so sad inside.Lots of love and hugs xxxx

Maybe we could form a support group?

Hello justanotherone, I lost my mum 4 years ago and I still miss her a lot. She was the best person I ever knew and I understand your pain. It seems like a brick wall or thick fog that you cannot get through but believe me you will. It doesn't get any better what does get better is your ability to cope with it. You have to remember no one can have their mum forever so you need to remember how good she was and value that whilst being aware there are people who don't have such good ones unfortunately so you are better off than they could ever be. I say that only because I know people who would wish theirs were better to them than they are but nevertheless they still worship them and would move heaven and earth for them as mums are the best thing in the world. Mine was an absolute diamond as I'm sure yours was too and that's what I will always treasure, remember and feel so well off that she was my mum. She would never want to cause you any pain so remember that as well. Bereavement counselling can be useful as they just listen and that can be very helpful. If you have any family try to stick with them for the time being and you will all be able to cope individually in the future.  I wish you all the strength in the world.  All the best,   Bill.  

Thank you all so much.

I have also thought about writing letters to mum, calling her phone just to leave a message for her. It's nice to know I am not crazy, that other people do the same thing.

the odd thing is that I can tell you all this, who I've never met, but to all of the people I know I feel like I can't speak to at all.

Xxx

It's not crazy at all. I have found a spot by the river near where I live and find it helps to go and sit and talk to my mum. I also speak to her during the day and say goodnight st night. I hope that she can see and hear me. 

Its such a shock even through my mum was diagnosed 9 months ago I really did think she would get better, looking back I suppose that hope kept me going. 

Now she has gone I am really struggling to come to terms with it. I think I am still in denial and feel like I'm in a bubble. 

I have spoken to the hospice she went to and am trying to arrange some sort of counselling. I have so many questions and what ifs and a massive feeling of I wish I had done this or that.

people say it gets better but I am finding it is getting worse as each day passes and I miss her more and more.

Sorry to go on but like you I can't speak to my friends and family as easily as I can on hear x 

Hello Chrissie80, sorry to hear about your mum and your struggle to cope with losing her. You're right it is like being in a bubble. I think that's the brain or the mind's way of protecting us, we seem to disconnect from reality because it feels safer and more secure. If you want to speak to a counsellor perhaps your GP could refer you as mine did. When it comes from a GP surgery it seems to be acted on quickly. I heard once from a radio presenter who didn't grieve at the loss of his mum at the time because he was the rock for his sisters as they had lost their dad years before. It was 5 years later driving into work when he was overtaken by grief and had to pull over. He sobbed for an hour or so then had to turn round and go home and ring into work to explain what had happened. He was sure he had coped until then but it was obviously beneath the surface and he had been so british and kept a stiff upper lip until then. Bereavement is such a strange thing and affects different people in very different ways. Some people really go off the rails emotionally and mentally whereas others seem to cope and take it in their stride. There doesn't seem to be a strict rule that we can apply to everyone. The psychologists think there are stages in grief including anger and denial.  It is a very traumatic event and can lead to serious illness in some people both physical and psychological. You have to cope however you can, whatever suits you but if it is not becoming any easier I would talk to your GP or someone medically qualified and ask their advice. The bereavement counsellors have heard it all several times before and will empathise totally with you and may be able to offer some coping tips based on their experience with others. The benefit is that they are likely to be strangers and you are free to say whatever you want in complete confidence. There is a prayer written by an american theologian years ago; "Grant me the serenity to cope with the things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference" Reinhold Niebuhr. Sounds pretty good to me and it's something I use all the time. I wish you well in your progress, take heart in the fact that your mum wouldn't want you feeling the way you do and would want you strong and able to carry on and remember her with warmth and fun. That's how I remember mine. Good luck to you and I hope you learn to cope with things a little easier very soon. Thanks, Bill.