Hi, my name is karen im 49 yrs old and I lost my dad on 18th if this month to cancer of the oesophagus, with secondaries in his lungs.... feel so sad and lost.. so worried about my mum...
Hi Karen,
I'm so sorry for what's happening to you and your mum. It's so hard. We've just started our journey with our dad's new diagnosis.
I lost somebody a few years ago and couldn't cope or let it go. The things that helped me were very very small like a hot liquid (coffee or hot chocolate) sliding down my throat and slightly taking the constant lump in my throat with it. I would have a hot drink with my mum or dad and we would just sit there sipping, occasionally talking about something.
After a while it became our little thing that we still do today. The person I lost is still gone but a new little tradition came out of it which we still carry on today.
Take your mum out for tea or coffee around little coffee shops just to get out of the house if you can.
It gets easier. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you can help your mum out of the despair with little things to look forward to.
Mari
Hi there Karen... so so sorry about the loss of your lovely dad ... it's one of the hardest times of the year, I lost my mum a few weeks before Christmas a long time ago, but I remember how hard it was seeing everyone Xmas shopping, when all I wanted was mum back ... I'm sure your mum finds comfort having you close ... and one thing I found was talking about her ... if you and mum lean on each other and find a way of you both saying what's in your heart, then you will walk this path together ... the pain does get easier but you never stop missing them .... and all those feelings your having is normal ... it's part of loosing someone very special.....
Thankyou Mari so much for your kind words..i will try to take your advice. I hope your dad gets treatment quickly and that your are all supported as well as we were through it. Sending you love and hugs.
Thankyou for caring and taking time to reply. I know things will get easier and were lucky we have such a close loving family... mum will be supported through this awful time and forever after. The grief I feel is a consequence of been a daddies girl all of my life but for that I am truly grateful... sending you love.
Just wanted to send you the last verse of a poem I love, that I hold in my heart ...from up there ...
I send you butterfly kisses, though you don't know I'm there ...
It's me peeking round the corner, just touching a strand of your hair ...
I really believe they are still looking over us, and so many times I've found things that make me wonder if they are somewhere close ... they just wait for when it's our turn, and we will see them again ... so just think what he would say to you now ... bet he's so proud of his girl ... my mum used to call me all the time, and sing I just called to say I love you ... and put the phone down, making me giggle, I still have a tear or two when it comes on the radio, 28 years later ... they always live in your heart, we just carry them with us ... chrisie xx
How are you and your mum doing? Are you guys any better?
i can't stop crying or even enjoy myself. My mum told me the consultant said my dad has about 12 months even though the cancer hasn't broken out of his stomach, no spread to organs or peritoneum at all. He just has 2 distant small nodes that are cancerous.
Theyve refused to operate so are just going to treat him with cancer. I've been looking at survival figures and most studies show the people in my dad's situation survive 12months or just a little more.
Feels like a lost battle already. I'm a proper daddy's girl and always have been.
i was walking by the Thames today with colleagues, we had gone to the Christmas markets in all the Christmas atmosphere but every time I felt a little happy the sadness just took over.
12 months is not a good prognosis.
Although I am hoping he's one of the few that makes it past 5yrs and 10yrs.
Hi Mari,
I'm sorry that the consultant has given such a poor prognosis... my dad was diagnosed in February, they wouldn't operate on him either as he was over 75. He was really well throughout his radiotherapy and chemotherapy treatment, but unfortunately the cancer had spread to his lungs.
It's an awful time, spending everyday hoping the treatment is working. I'm sending you my love and letting you know that I will be.thinking of you and your family everyday as you being this awful journey.
Contact me whenever you need to talk...
Karen xxxx
Hi karen, im sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in may this year to lung cancer 6 weeks after diagnosis. It was a complete shock, its been one of the worst times of my life and like you i was worried a out my mum too, i feel talking about him helps loads. Sending hugs xx
