Hello He;smyhero Im so sorry your dad has found himself in this difficult situation ,and the diagnosis of mesothelioma I lost my husband last Feb with the same illness ,he was diagnosed in Oct 2010 and lost the fight on Feb 5th 2013  he had chemo and radio therapy ,the chemo caused him to develope stage 4 kidney desease he had many hospital admissions through his journey but passed away very peacefuly at home in my arms with our children sitting close by ..Everyones journey is different though so take every day at a time and accept all the help offered to you this forum has helped me through the darkest days of my life and always listen to you if   good news or bad and answering any questions you may have ,you can also speak to the nurses on here too, so come and talk whenever you feel the need take care ....Susananne

Thank you for your reply, I'm so sorry for you loss, it's heartbreaking,

Could I ask about the chemo, did he regret having it? I'm reading so many things about chemo making people worse and more ill?

My dad is desperate for the oncologists to say there's treatments he can have, I think we wants hope, as we all do, but I don't want him to suffer even more xx

Hello again ,the chemo drugs given to my Tony were Carboplatin and pemetrexed (Almita) he accepted all the help offered but he was so poorly throughout treatment sickness fatigue he had to spend a week in hospital because of sickness he got dehydrated he also got sepsis he also developed a blood clot on his lung (pulmanery embolisum) Tony didnt regret having the treatment  ,but now I think his quality of life throughout was poor and then he was told he had stage 4 kidney desease so I dont think it helped ..It was hard watching the man I loved suffer ,although we were told it was terminal and chemo could give extra time he had to try  ..I must say though everyone is different  and reacts differently to treatment ,your dad could cope realy well so dont let me put you off I wish your dad well whatever he chooses to do ..Take care Susananne x

Hi

Like Susananne I know only too well how rotten this type of cancer is.  My husband was diagnosed just before his 61st birthday and is still on the journey.  His began with a chest infection (though I had been nagging for some time for him because of his breathing but was ignored and eventually it was picked up during  works medical).  Once diagnosis was confirmed (with all the tests it was four months) he was transferred into the care of a superb consultant oncologist who answered all our questions as honestly as she could.  Though a terminal cancer there are some people who benefit from chemo and radiotherapy (depending on how advanced it is some people even have surgery though this was not an option for my husband).  My husband was offered and accepted chemotherapy but after three treatments his body could not handle more and so by mutual agreement with his medical team he reverted to palliative pain management and this continues  (he is now 63). We were also advised to contact the voluntary organisation HASAG (they have a small website which gives contact details) who helped us with disability claims which the Government covers for this asbestos related disease.  Its no consolotation but has helped us cope financially especially since my husband had to give us work some 18months ago as was unable to continue as an Engineer.

I would advise that your write all your questions down ready for the appointment with the oncologist (its hard to remember everything you want to know).  There are many different options but everyone's journey can be so different and we are aware of someone who lived over 8yrs with the condition.  No false hopes ourselves, just coping on a day to day basis.  My husband has had no hospital admissions as yet, has check ups with his oncologist every 2/3 months and is otherwise seen by his GP and district nurse as and when necessary(he is on monitored pain relief and is still able to drive short distances though walking leaves him very breathless)

Please feel free to come and chat on the forum and I am happy to try and answer questions though everyone's situation will be slightly different.  Jules54

Thank you Susanne, he needs something to cling onto,  we don't know what stage it is, I think they were in shock and didn't really take it in, I am going next time. Thank you for your kind words, lots of love to you and the family xxx

Hi Julie, thank you for so much for the reply,  I'm sorry so many are going through the same thing.  We are still in shock about this, he was poorly but this was the last thing we expected. We don't know the stage he is at, not sure if mom and dad were told, I don't think they took it all in, the doctor wasn't very compassionate at all.  I will be going to the oncologist, which I'm hoping is soon, the waiting is terrible.  My dad wants to go back to work on Monday, I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing, he keeps saying he's not an invalid yet, but he is weaker and lost a lot of weight, and in pain.  I have already printed off treatments and  questions for when we go, I want to know every possible thing.  It's reassuring to know that your husband is doing ok and managing this awful disease.  Someone came today regarding  compensation and benefits so that's out there minds at rest with the financial side at least, it's a long journey but I'm going to fight it with them and for him as best I can, love to you and hubby xxx

Hi

Just wanted to let you know that my husband continued to work throughout all the pre diagnosis testing and following diagnosis (taking appropriate days off for his chemotherapy sessions/side effects) and managed to continue reduced hours working for a little while until he just could not manage (he used to travel a lot with his work and was in China a couple of months after diagnosis!).  He was given great support by his employer (also a family friend who still stays in touch).  Sadly he hates to talk about it and this was the reason I joined the forum as it gives me great support. Working certainly helped in the short term and it has become a harder journey (mentally as well as physically) since he had to stop work.  Take all the support you are offered. We found that all final decisions were left to him to decide but he opted to take the advice given and though hated the chemo and the side effects (and lasting lack of taste which remains a problem even now) we know that even the small amount he was able to have did shrink the growth,thus giving us more time.  Wishing you all the very best with the next appointment and yes the waiting is very hard as you just want to know what's going to happen  and if possible move foward with treatment.  Keep in touch if you want to and let us know how things go for you all. Jules x

Hi Lisa

Just wanted to let you know am keeping you and the family in my thoughts. Sadly I lost hubby on  3 Jan but being able to still be part of this supportive forum is truly helping.  Am happy to chat if you need to.Best regards and sending a virtual hug.Jules x