hi judith, so sorry to hear that, i hope you are ok truely,  my dads terminal they told him 2 years with glioblastoma brain tumour treatment, if you dont mind me asking, and im sure others will find it helpfull, what is  mesothelioma,  as others will probably join in supporting you , ...cococat

Hi cococat,

I had never heard of it either. It's a type of lung cancer caused by asbestos. It can stay hidden for 30/40 years. When the symptoms start to show and a diagnosis is made, it's usually too late to do anything about it. My husband has no knowledge of ever coming into contact with asbestos.

gosh that has been a real shock then,  have you tried to find out if he can join any trials, sometimes they work for the person against all odds..if you type  mesothelioma, into the small search box at the top of the page you may be able to read more...never give up, or give in, always try, sometimes drs and specialists can only give you the average outcome,  determination can take you further, and im sure your giveing him all the support you can, when they told us all in the same room at the same time, in front of dad he had a couple of years to get his affairs in order ! which to me was the weirdest way a specialist could say it, it was shock like you,....i can tell you from my experience, i have days where we will battle the world full of strength and positive and searching for informatin, and other days where i curl up and cry for a while, then pull myself together, as i think,  dad needs me,  do your best to keep your husband positive, i know its hard , but it will help you both, and you could get a second oppinion, especially as you say hes never been by asbestos he thinks. i wish you all the best, there really are thousands of us here to support and swap what were all going through. dont feel bad for being upset, trust me it settles, and then you go through denial, and anger and exceptance, it just takes time, for you both....always here,   cococat

Thank you so much for your words of advice. It really means a lot, knowing that you sat down to reassure me whilst going through your own trauma. I really am grateful for your thoughts and suggestions.

I hadn't thought about trials, it's certainly something which I will look into.

Best wishes to you and your dad. My thoughts are with you both.. You're right, we have to stay positive. It was just the shock today, the reality kicking in. Tomorrow we begin the fight.

Judith

Hi Judith So sorry to hear you're going through this. My Dad was diagnosed with mesothelioma in Janaury and we still have him now (just...), though the initial prognosis was similar to your husband. I think we went through quite a similar thing with never having heard of the disease, having no idea where it had come from (though Dad is a retired teacher and it turns out it's a lot more common than you'd ever think). Dad has coped very well with the diagnosis, much better than Mum so I think they'd be able to relate on that front. Dad is very stoic which we all find quite hard at times (whilst also being pleased he's just sort of getting on with things and enjoying what he can of life). I don't have anything useful to say, I'm afraid, just sometimes it's nice to know someone else is out there going through the same thing. I think just do as much as you can while your husband is still well enough to. Do all the things you've always wanted to (that you're in a position to, obviously). Make memories. That's all we can try and do I think. Keep positive. Love to both.

Hi

I am sorry to be so late in responding but obviously missed when you initially posted.

My husband was diagnosed with Mesothelioma in 2012 and the consultant was wary about terminal timelines as she had seen so many variations.  The shock of diagnosis was replaced by so many questions and fears for me whilst my hubby preferred to cope as normally as possible and did not like talking about it (which is what led me to this forum).  We were extremely lucky to have a good NHS support worker who was available by phone as we worked our way through everything.  We were also put in touch with HASAG (they have a website) who were able to help us with the financial side of things (compensation was the last thing on our minds !!). It was not an easy journey for the whole family though my hubby was also told to sort his affairs to make it easier!  As it happened we were able to continue to make memories for nearly three years during which time he received good palliative care which included a few chemo treatments (too unwell to continue but think this bought him a little more time).

Take all support you are offered and try coping day to day.  We did continue to make plans for the future and fulfilled what we could as and when his physical health allowed. 

I think we all go through every emotion possible during such times and guilt and frustration were very high on my own list of feelings.  This forum was of great support to me and I am sure at times kept me on the straight and narrow.

Take care.  Jules