Hi Francis2016,

A cancer diagnosis brings about many different reactions for the patient and this is one of them. Because we don't understand why this is happening to us we feel angry and have to have someone to lash out at and sadly it's usually the ones that are closest to us that bear the brunt. You are still in shock and it takes a while for your situation to sink in - it's a type of grief and you may find that once the anger fades you then become upset & sad. All these are perfectly normal reactions, especially when you also have treatment to contend with.

If your local hospital has a Macmillan or Maggies Centre I suggest you visit them as they provide great services that will help you - counselling, relaxation therapies etc. I will also send you a friend request - if you accept it I can send you details of other support organisations that you may find helpful.

This feeling will pass but you need to ensure that it doesn't cause any lasting damage to your relationship. Your husband won't & can't fully understand what you are going through mentally & physically, only those in your situation can, so amongst everything else we have to try and consider our loved ones feelings too - it's hard but it's necessary because we need them to be there for us at times like this. The fact you have recognised your anger aimed at your husband and that you've come here to talk about it is good. Now you need to find somewhere that will help you understand and deal with it and the above organisations, amongst others, will help you do that.

Good luck with your surgery. It's not a walk in the park but neither is it as invasive as you think. You will recover quickly and then it's the results that are the most important. Treatment for melanoma is moving apace and the results are looking very encouraging for patients. When I was first diagnosed Stage 1 23 years ago there was only surgery available (and no Sentinel Lymph Node Biopsies) then when I was diagnosed Stage 3 10 years ago there was only surgery and a possible drug trial (I wasn't eligible for the trial and the drug was subsequently found to not work anyway). Now there are lots more options so don't despair. If you would like to chat just accept my friend request - you can rant at me instead of your husband - we all need a good rant to help ground us.

Angie