I bet some of our members will have had the exact some thoughts Toni and I'm sure you'll hear more from them soon but in the meantime I just wanted to wish you and your husband well on this journey.

Kind regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

thank you 

I understand your frustration about not being involved in this decision making process.

MDT (multi-disciplinary team) meetings are an improtant part of diagnosis and treatment planning where experts from a variety of specialities (such as oncology, radiology and surgery) discuss all the available information about a patient to ensure that the diagnosis is correct and the treatment prescribed, be that surgery, medication or both is the most effective.

Your medical team however, should certainly discuss the treatment options with you. You're by no means obliged to have the treatment recommended as a result of the MDT meeting and are well within your rights to decline it.

Best wishes

That is good to know about declining, not that I think we will, but it makes us feel slightly more in control.  Thank you 

I’m glad that you feel more in control now.

I think that sometimes these processes can be poorly explained. I often think this is, in part, because of the speed at which everything happens after a cancer diagnosis which is really unfortunate. 

I think there’s room for improvement personally.

Hi, 

I think it can be improved too.  The process was explained to us in a way (apart from one major hiccup at the begining when the nurse consutlant told us no chemo, no radiotherapy and no operation due to my husbands previous heart failure).  This prognosis may now have changed.

It is hard to articulate at the moment but I find it so difficult not to be involved in major decisions about what is going to happen to us, it is so disempowering at a time when you need to feel in control of something (in control of anything really, because at the moment cancer is in control)

I think the way you're feeling is completely understandable.

Before Your Husband's cancer diagnosis, I have no doubt that you were completely in control of most aspects of your life. A cancer diagnosis totally changes that. Everything happens so quickly and before you know it, you have hospital letters flying through your letterbox and a multitude of hospital appointments that probably clash meaning you have to rearrange them.

I think even more so, the fact that it's a loved one who has been diagnosed makes you want to be involved in all the decision making processes because you need to know what's going on.

Best wishes