Hi BeckyEmma, welcome to the forum, I am very sorry for your loss, such a short time from when your stepdad was ill, can't imagine how hard that must be.

I am in my fifties, not sure about you but I feel like a little girl lost, there is a photo of my mum holding my hand when I am around 5 years old, that's how I feel, I want to stretch out my hand but she's no longer there. Mum died on the 26th September and it is good and bad days, today hasn't been the best but I think it is because Christmas is getting nearer and a few colleagues said....off to mum and dad's.

It is completely understandable that everything is a struggle, it does make you feel that way. I hope you have family or siblings where you can support each other? Or perhaps speak to your Dr, mine was very good and took time to talk with me; I admit I didn't take the medication precscribed, I found natural Lavender tablets helped ease the anxiety. Others here on the forum have found bereavement counselling has helped. I would say that most people would find it a struggle on their own, and need some help. 

I am sorry again for your loss and hope that you will be able to find help to cope.....sometimes these things are difficult to explain but people here on the forum will listen if you feel you wanted to post again.

Hi BeckyEmma 

So sorry that you find yourself here. 

I can relate to you because I also lost a parent to lung cancer (mum). Like your step dad, unfortunately, she didn’t have long after her diagnosis so I know how shocking and upsetting this is for you. 

We have a similar background too (my father with alcoholism...he’s still around but there have been many, many incidents when it was ‘touch and go’). 

This is a very supportive site...I find being around people in the know helps a great deal to cope with such a loss. So I hope you’ll hang around. 

Do you have any remaining family? Or anyone else close to you? 

As Linda says, a visit to your GP may also assist x x 

it does get easier xx