hello sweetie - what an awful thing to happen & it's clear that you are struggling a bit at the minute. I'm much, much older than you & have lost lots of people over the years inc. some to cancer. It's a horrible illness & unless you've seen someone struggle with it it's so very hard to understand what others have to go through. I do have some idea then of how you are feeling.

I hope you understand that April is really just a very short time ago  - not nearly long enough to be properly back on track with your life. You know I'm sure, that grief is a process that has to take its time & it's very often a case of 2 steps forward & 1 backwards. This is probably where you are now. Staying in bed all day is trying to find a way to stop the pain - sleep it away & not having to deal with it. That's very common I promise. What I would say tho' is that you can't allow yourself to get into the habit of it. It may well be that you are depressed (I know you might think you're bound to be, but that isn't so.) If you are depressed you won't have the emotional wherewithal to manage day to day life or your grief. It might be worth your while going to see your GP & tell him or her how you are feeling. Your GP might think you need a little help for a week or two to get you through. Don't think it's being weak or hopeless or any nonesense like that will you?

You already know that some days are worse than others & today you are having a horrible day & you did the right thing posting here. We've all been there & understand your feelings.

I hope you will think about what I've said & I REALLY hope that tomorrow is better. One of these tomorrows will be I assure you. Try to take care of yourself as your mum would want you to.

Best wishes to you xx

Hey Flower, 

firsltly I just want to say I am so so sorry your going through this - I’m 29 so I little older but I too lost my my mam quite recently - 23rd of May. I haven’t been back to work cause I’ve been trapped in a bubble. I feel like going back to work is going back to normal and unfortunately, nothing is normal anymore. My mam was my best friend And now she’s gone. Have you looked into a bereavement councilor? It might not be for you but it might be worth a try? I am going to look into it this week. I’m an only child and my dad died when I was 20 so apart from my partner and a few good friends I feel totally alone. Even then, there not family, so it’s hard. I’m here to talk to you whenever you need it - I know we’re jot going through the exact same but it’s the same kinda pain. The only thing I will say is out mam’s wouldn’t want to see us like this - they would want us to be strong. My mam also died in a horrible way, so if you want to talk about it I am here to listen xx much love x 

Hi purrfect, 

Wow, I am taken aback by your lovely message. Thank you I really appreciate it youve given me some good advice. April was only a short time ago so maybe I need to give myself a bit more credit? I think mum would be telling me to. She was my best friend so all of this is so bloody hard. I have been to work today and I’m feeling s little bit more “normal” whatever that is. I’ll see how I go over the next few weeks and if I feel the same I’ll see a Gp. 

I’m sorry to hear you have lost people too, and some to this awful disease. Life is cruel huh? Thanks for your advice, take care, 

L x 

Hey Meg, 

God life is bloody cruel isn’t it?! I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum too. Do you think going back to work might help you a bit? Even if you did a phased return to work, where you go back part time then see how it goes. That might do you some good? Totally get what you mean, I hate how life continues and carries on like “normal” and yet your life has just broken into a million pieces. I’ve not looked into a councillor , not sure if it’s for me. Let me know how it goes with you though. 

God I’m sorry to hear about your Dad too. Did that pain ever get easier? Is your partner being supportive? 

You’re right, our mums definitely wouldn’t wanna see us sad. It’s hard not to though when you’ve lost the person who meant the most you can ever imagine. 

Happy to chat whenever, 

L x 

You're more than welcome sweetie. You've got thro' another day & yes, you should give yourself a bit more credit:) Keep going - it's like walking thro treacle I know but you can do it.! xx