Lost my Invincibility.

Ok so before I start I realise that no-one is invincible and the 'end' is inevitable for all of us... however at the time when I was diagnosed with aggressive and advanced Stage 3 Burkitt Lymphoma at 29, i hadn't even considered the possibility, happily obliviously content living in the notion that I was certain to live for a very long time.

I'm in remission now, 12 months strong and trying to move on with my life, however dealing with a multitude of struggles and hurdles with my mental health. The primary hurdle I am faced with is the stark realisation that my life is fragile, and I'm not as invincible as I would like to believe.

from the moment I was diagnosed, the big ugly beast known as cancer stared me in the face, With the intention of ending my life before I'd even considered it had properly started. At various points throughout my treatment cycle I had to face the prospect of 'the end' head on... and it's a sobering thought I haven't been able to shake since. To make matters worse, a bout of sepsis kicked in not long after my successful treatment - a sting in the tail to remind me to not be so complacent in future.

struggling mentally at the moment, I wonder if anyone can relate...

  • Hi Anxious,

    Totally relate, although my cancer was not advanced, it's only through the wonders of modern medicine that it didn't advance. Together with being age 57, it's sobering to realise that life is fleeting and can change in a second. 

    Having said that, you can change your thoughts re lack of invincibility into a positive. Be grateful and find joy in each day. Also the longer this is behind you, the less you'll think of it. None of us will live forever, nothing is guaranteed but the way I look at it, is while I'm worrying about one thing, something else can happen so just take it as it comes. Get on and enjoy your life! Happy Easter x

  • Btw, I'm not dismissing how you're feeling, it's totally normal. X