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Lost my dad this morning

5 Dec 2017 01:12

My name is Joe, and yesterday morning at 6.15 I lost my dad to terminal lung cancer which spread to his brain. It’s probably been the toughest few weeks of my life, seeing my dad become weaker, and lose the ability to communicate. He even missed out on eating and drinking towards the end. I can’t even begin to describe how devestated I am feeling, and I just feel like I’m in a very dark place at this moment. When will I start to pull myself out from this horrible place? I need to be strong for my mum but I just feel exhausted. Please someone give me some advice. 

Re: Lost my dad this morning

5 Dec 2017 02:31 in response to Icollins68

I’m so sorry for your loss, I lost my dad when I was 15 so I know what your going through, it’s an awful thing to go through and one of the hardest, I am 34 now but remember it like it was yesterday, but trust me it really does get better and every day that passes gets a little bit easier, you have to be strong for yourself and the rest of your family and just remember your dad for him and not what this awful illness does to people, RIP, I hope your no longer suffering now and in a better place, hope I’ve helped you a little, if you would like to talk you can always reply xxxxx

Re: Lost my dad this morning

5 Dec 2017 02:35 in response to Icollins68

Dear Joe,

I am so very sorry for the loss of your dad. Cancer can be a nasty illness and I know from experience how hard it is to watch somebody you love fade away. I lost my dad almost exactly a year ago today to prostate cancer. 

Please please come here to talk - I have found many wonderful people on here who will happily take time for you and offer you advice.

If I can give you some comfort, the pain does go away, but you need to work through your grief in your own way.

But think of your dad as he was when healthy - what he would have wanted for you and think of and remember the amazing times you had and your memories. 

Everybody takes their own time. For me, the first 3 months were the hardest, then slowly I started to celebrate and appreciate what I still had left in my life. A friend of mine took a different time to get over the loss of her dad... but I promise you, it does get easier - with time.

I am about to start my own cancer treatment in the UK in the next 3 weeks and knowing how strong my dad was through his chemo is giving me strength. I want to make him proud - I know he's watching from somewhere - even if just in my head.

Sending you strength and solace.


Re: Lost my dad this morning

5 Dec 2017 09:50 in response to Icollins68

Hi Joe, 

On behalf of everyone here at Cancer Chat I would just like to offer you our condolences on the passing of your father yesterday morning.

I can see you've got some lovely support and advice from our members already which I hope will be of some help and comfort to you at this time.

Just try to take each day at a time and remember that we are always here when you need us.

Kind regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Re: Lost my dad this morning

6 Dec 2017 17:51 in response to Icollins68

I am so sorry Joe. I lost my dad to lung cancer that metastasized on 31st October 2017. I know exactly what you are going through. Its been almost 40 days and i still cry daily. I tell myself that he is no longer in pain, and that he is looking down on me. Its the hardest thing to deal with, but know that he loved you and that he is watching over you and your family.